How can I talk to people
To start this off, as any teen girl, I also might have an interest in boys. But I don't share it much.
I was talking with my cousin (over text), and I told her that a guy at school also plays the guitar. She immediately says, "God gave u wisdom but too much concentration on boys." Like, I only had 1 crush before and told about it to her a YEAR ago. And I usually rant to her about the backward minded old traditional way of thinking about women and my problems living in a community as such. Now, for some reason, she takes this as reason to call me male-centered when the anti feminism propaganda also applies to some women.
She calms me too male centered and how she's "baring me hardly" as a joke??? It hurts me so much knowing that people call me annoying.
I have another online best friend who's a very nice guy, and sometimes when I get into arguments with him and people in general, the first thing I notice is them calling me "annoying."
To not sugar coat myself, I'd say, yes, I talk a lot. But only with people who I feel close to. I'd never talk in class or anywhere except my cousin( the one mentioned) and my best friend. I genuinely don't understand what to do. If I'm that annoying, why don't people just leave me alone. How am I the problem? Why should I change? Everyone believes they're the saint in my life, forced to listen to me but in reality they could leave and I'd feel so much better even tho I'd miss them. I'd rather have no people as such rather than have 100 like them and have their real opinion about me shown.
Now my question is, how do I stop this? What do I do? I try to be myself, but for some reason, to others, I feel like a stranger. How can I change? How can i be a better conversation partner without being called annoying in the first 5 seconds? How can I even talk to people to feel like normal human being such as others?