u/Initial-Cake-5359

Hi all! I'll preface this with saying I am in therapy and I plan on talking to my therapist about this all tomorrow but looking for advice on how to get through milestone dates.

Last July my husband had a cardiac arrest while we were on vacation in Cape Cod. He made a miraculous recovery but the anniversary of his incident is coming up in a few weeks. My TFMR due date was July 14th and on that date my current sub will be the exact gestation I terminated that pregnancy, 17w4d. I have my early anatomy scan coming up on Wednesday and that's where everything fell apart in my last pregnancy and we are supposed to leave for a vacation with my husband's parents on Thursday. To top it all off my LC's birthday is the 15th. It all just feels like too much, I don't want to go on the vacation.

I've been feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin thinking about the combination of all these dates, it just feels like impending doom. I don't have any rational reasons to believe something will go wrong but it just feels like a dark cloud over my head.

Did anyone feel similar? Did you just grit your teeth and get through it or was there something that helped ease the anxiety?

Today I went to a barbecue with my extended family, and the plan was to share the news about our sub pregnancy. My aunt lives about 1.5 hours away, and I’ve realized that long drives tend to leave me alone with my thoughts. They almost always bring me back to thinking about the daughter we lost, which leaves me feeling emotional before I even arrive. To add another layer, we had our gender reveal for our last baby with this same group of family members at Christmas. Being together again brought back a lot of those memories.

I’m hopeful about this pregnancy but I’ve found it really difficult to share the news in person. Pregnancy announcements are usually met with so much excitement and joy, and I just couldn’t match that energy today. I didn’t want to pretend to be over the moon when my emotions were much more complicated.

At the same time, I feel guilty for feeling this way. I keep thinking I should just be excited and grateful, especially because we’re expecting another little girl.
In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to announce it. I could tell my mom and husband were a little annoyed.

Has anyone else struggled with announcing a subsequent pregnancy in person or found that old memories resurfaced in situations like this? I’d really love to hear if anyone can relate.

I just want to start by thanking this community for all the support thus far. By way of background we lost our last baby girl to trisomy 18 at 17 weeks. I was fortunate enough to get pregnant my first cycle following my TFMR and things have been tracking normally, currently 10 weeks.

I did the blood draw for the NIPT last Thursday and surprisingly had the results in my portal on Monday, a low risk girl. I had a strong gender preference for a girl since my LC is a boy and we were so excited to have one of each. While I am happy about the results, part of me is feeling more anxiety because it feels like now I have a healthy baby girl to lose.

For people who have passed this milestone, are there any mantra's or positive thoughts that have helped? I've had so many signs from the universe that seem to confirm that this pregnancy will work out but its so hard not to let the fear creep in after loss.

I checked my lapcorp portal today not expecting to have the results ready and we got low risk girl results! We have an almost 2 year old son and lost our daughter to trisomy 18 back in February. This feels like I am living in a dream and i'm so so happy.