I apologize for going so long without an update. The situation has changed in little bits over time, and I wanted to keep the update concise.
A few days after I made the original post, I met up with my little brother told my him about what I did.
Understandably he was really upset with me, there were tears from both of us and I tried my best to explain why I did it. He felt I betrayed his trust and took the opportunity from him to confront the pedo himself. We didn’t leave on good terms but I felt better getting it off my chest.
We didn’t speak for a few weeks and then he called me to meet up for drinks. He said he was still upset with me but he understood, and thanked me for trying to protect him. His fiancée was the one who convinced him to forgive me, as she also suffered abuse from a family member and it was reported to the police by a the first person she told. So she understood what he was feeling but why it was important that I did what I did.
We discussed what had happened to him, and what he wanted to do about it. There is some context to make all of the story make sense. This uncle is not bio family, he’s our dad’s brother’s husband. He’s originally a Mexican citizen, and still holds dual citizenship. Our grandma on dad’s side is really old, and not doing well. She’s also very close to her son/our bio uncle, as well as his pedo husband. I am transgender FTM (initially didn’t feel comfortable mentioning it in the comments of the OG post). I was still a girl when all of this was happening, in addition to being much darker skinned than my brother, so I was never in danger from this uncle.
My brother says he wants to wait until our grandma kicks the bucket to tell our extended family and press charges, since finding out something like that might actually expedite her trip to hell (I am not close with her, in case you couldn’t tell). However, one of our cousins has three boys who are starting to get to the age that the pedo prefers, according to my brother. We decided to tell her so that she can protect the boys, and hope that she doesn’t tell anyone else. The biggest concern, which I didn’t think of at first, is that the pedo runs away to Mexico before he can face justice.
We discussed therapy, and he doesn’t know if he’s ready yet. There’s a lot of repressed feelings and emotions there, and he’s getting ready to start training as a captain since he’s “graduating” from being a copilot, so he doesn’t want to deal with that on top of the training and stress. He also talked a lot about the fear he has to work through, because he was groomed and threatened for so many years to keep him from telling anyone. He’s been very stressed because of having to tell people, and I’m not sure he would be able to deal with telling a stranger about it yet. It’s something he’ll have to be able to do before charges can be filed though. I’m not going to push him on it, I just want to support him as best I can. I think it helps having my fiancée and I, and his fiancée, knowing about it at least.
I did tell him we had to tell our parents first. Our mom was heartbroken. Our dad was furious. In my entire life I think I’ve only ever seen him cry once, and that was when his dad died. He cried for hours when my brother told him. Out mom vomited afterwards and we had to keep her from going and doing anything to the pedo herself. We have the same temper. Our parents wanted my brother to press charges right away, but we explained the situation and they seemed to understand, though they both said it should be sooner than later so he can’t hurt anyone else. I agree but I told them it’s not fair to push when it’s not their trauma.
Few weeks later he told our cousin, and I think it was just shock but she didn’t believe him at first which I know really hurt him. I wasn’t there which was probably a good thing, because I would have lost it. His fiancée was there to support him though. Her and I convinced him to talk to her brother/our other cousin about it, since he watches the boys most often when she’s working since their dad is not in the picture. When we told him he admitted that it had happened to him too. He’s 15 years older than us and I was furious that he didn’t tell anyone. He could have protected my little brother. My little brother forgives him but I don’t, and I don’t see myself being able to have a relationship with him anymore. He at least did the right thing in convincing his sister, so she believes us now and will be able to protect her boys. She’s also angry at him for not saying anything, since the pedo has already been spending time alone with the boys when he’s been in town, but that’s none of my business so I don’t know how that’s going aside from her taking the boys to therapy to make sure nothing happened to them.
Our mom has cut contact with the pedo, and I think he suspects something is up because he hasn’t tried to reach out to her or come by the house when he’s been in town which is really unusual. We’re worried we’ve spooked him too much, but I’m honestly a bit thrilled that he might be sitting at home sweating about being found out. The question is if his husband knew/knows. I don’t think he does, but I don’t trust any of the people who were adults at the time, aunts and uncles and cousins. Any one of them could have known or suspected, and clearly did nothing to stop it, so as far as I’m concerned they’re all on my shit list.
At this point I’m just hoping grandma dies soon so that this can finally all come to light to the rest of the family and the pedo’s job. My brother and his fiancée are already working with our cousin to put together as much evidence as they can for when they decide to press charges, since my brother and cousin will be doing it together. Our cousin is also going to talk to another cousin who we suspect was also abused, and if that’s the case get him involved as well if he wants to be.
That’s everything as of now. The most recent development happened just this past week, so there’s not much else. I consider daily whether or not it would be worth it to just go back to the pedos house and take care of this all myself. I don’t think I will ever be able to trust anyone outside my immediate family ever again. This has been awful to go through, but I don’t regret being there for my little brother and doing everything I can to support him.
Thanks again for all of the kind words on my first post. I was in a really dark place at the time and the support helped a lot.