u/Initial-Way-5409

I '16M' have been thinking of her '16F', and have fallen into a state where I feel suffocated by regret. Sure I've had some ups and downs, yet nothings felt the same as this. I've been cheated on, gaslighted, manipulated, etc. (I know some of you are probably going to try and say that I'm probably over reacting, and that I'm "too young" for that kind of abuse. Which is okay, I understand that.) It's just that I feel like i wake up every morning wondering if I'm good enough, and if I can ever find her again. I never really gave her a chance, and every other morning I wake up with an extreme amount of guilt. She was a lot better than I realized, and I treated her like she was worthless. Even if nothing else, I wish I could give her a proper apology, and at least have some closure. I feel almost as if some of what has happened to me relationship wise since then, was because of how poorly I treated her, karma in a way I guess. I just need help, to know how I can solve this, and not have this crushing weight on my chest, whenever I'm alone. I can't even think of a relationship right now, unless with her. I never should have listened to my "friends" I never should have cut things off. She's all I want at this point, and I just wish there was a way to make things right.