u/Initial_Constant4410

21M

I've never felt so much shame in my life

What started being a $20 deposit, ended being $220. I was so upset from these losses I decided to deposit another $20 "One last time".

I ended up getting the $220, then $1000, then $2000. There was never a point where I just STOPPED. I ended up losing all $2000 and feel so stupid right now.

At some point it didn't even feel like real money, but like points in a video game.

Does anyone have any advice? I've been moping about this for the past few hours and can't stop thinking about it.

Is this how an addiction usually starts?