We met freshman year of high school and have been best friends ever since, until a couple weeks ago. I got a boyfriend and I knew my best friend would react poorly to this because he knows I’ve been terrible in my past relationships (manipulative mostly) but I’m past that and I hate that person that I was. I’ve been and continue to go to therapy and I had a New Year’s resolution to be celibate which lasted for 3 months.
And I was right. He acted ok with it at first but as some time passed he got more angry with me and I could tell. I was in my last semester of college and was super stressed and scatterbrained as a result. He wanted to call and talk about my relationship but I kept forgetting about it, 3 times to be specific. Eventually, we did call but it wasn’t scheduled it was abrupt and with my boyfriend. Over the phone he said he had high standards on who he considers his friends and I was just not meeting that. I balled my eyes out in a campus bathroom and got my boyfriend to drive me to my dorm. I told him everything bad I ever did in my past relationships so that I could tell my best friend that despite it all, he still chose me. Well he didn’t, and my friend blocked me before I sent him a text saying I told my boyfriend everything. Afterwards, we decided to be friends and not date but that didn’t go well for me. Things ended between us mutually and I don’t feel negatively about him, just pissed that my best friend would ruin a relationship that I could see a wedding in
After this, I told our mutual friend about it and clarified that she should not ask or mention it to him. But she did anyways. My best friend replied and said I was “inconsiderate”. And I was drunk at a graduation party so I sent a drunk text to him basically saying that he’s the inconsiderate one for not letting me enjoy life and get a serious partner, and for doing this 3 weeks before graduation. He sent me a video of him saying “all you had to do was give me space so this is it goodbye” with that Minecraft YouTuber outro music. Which is funny but given how my best friend didn’t attend my college graduation because of a serious relationship, it sucks.
I don’t know why he’d feel so controlling over this whole situation. He’s asexual and autistic so I knew for a long time he’s had a different understanding of romantic and sexual relationships, but this reaction is just crazy.
I’m so heartbroken over the whole thing. I can’t believe he’d end it all after such a minor disagreement especially since I was under the impression there was mutual unconditional love in the friendship. So I think there’s some additional info or context I’m missing and that makes me feel worse because I probably did something wrong and I don’t know what I did which makes me an awful person.
Either way, I’m not going to get answers. I have no intentions of rekindling the relationship because he was very immature about absolutely decimating my feelings. I don’t know how to move on. When I used to think of the future, I’d think “I have my family and my best friend so I’ll be ok” and one of those is gone.
Has anyone else had something similar happen where you lost a longtime friend over something so little? And how do you move on? Can anyone give me some perspective on what I did? I spent so much time and told him so many things I’ve never told anyone in these 9 years. And idk how to cope with it without egging his apartment. Any advice, clarification, etc is welcome ❤️