I don’t think my girlfriend finds me attractive, what is there for me to do?
I (20F) and my girlfriend (19F) have been officially in a relationship for a few months now. I do believe she is the best thing that’s ever happened for me, and she shares the notion. She tells me about how she’s never met anyone like me, how she loves me SO much she doesnt think any one could ever understand. I completely believe her.
The circumstances of our relationship are far from easy on either part. My family is wildly homophobic and we just recently have become long distance, but she expresses to me that being with me is a choice she would make any day and she is more than willing than to stick through this with me. My issue is that I don’t think my girlfriend finds me attractive at all, maybe even unattractive.
My girlfriend is very attractive by conventional standards and in our school days it seemed like I had to beat all the boys off with a stick—so admittedly, it does make me a bit insecure to know that I don’t meet those same standards. I’ve expressed this to her indirectly though. I’ve expressed to her before that I don’t feel attractive.
Im chubby, and just not much to look at. Whenever she’s talked to me about similar things, I always go about by telling her how pretty she is—and even before she says such I think it’s important to tell her how gorgeous I think she is.
While my girlfriend does compliment me, never once has it been about my appearance. And when she comforts me when I tell her I don’t feel attractive, it’s by telling me that I’m too hard on myself or that it doesn’t matter. I think I should be okay with this, my looks dont matter to me much, but it is hard to date someone who I think might find me unattractive.
I don’t consider myself a vain person, but I do think this is something that has put tension on our relationship and how I think of her. How do I go about approaching this? Do I talk to her about it? If that is what I’m supposed to do, then how do I go about it? I love my girlfriend more than life itself so I don’t want this problem to become something worse.