My only reason is gone.
I had an amazing dream about my partner. Being able to meet them for the first time, hanging out, hugging them, everything. I wake up and all I want to do is tell them I love them, in fact I've never felt so much love for them in my life. Excited, the first thing I do is open my messages to tell them just that, and I see multiple messages from them when they haven't talked to me in days!
It's them saying they don't have any attachment to me anymore. They said they'll miss me a lot. They said they're glad they met me. They said thanks for everything I've done and for being there for them. They said bye.
My head was pounding, I was shaking and felt like throwing up. I was sobbing like this was going to be how I die. It is. This is how I'm gonna die, so lonely because I just lost the only person who would ever love me. There was no love left, I should've recognized that long before. That's all my fault. I'm going to die because I lost them due to how much of a demon I am. I just want to die badly. I'm too tired, unstable and socially inept to make and keep new friendships and nobody ever likes me. I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm so so fucked they said "Live life" and "be happy" LIKE THEY DONT KNOW ID TRY TO KILL MYSELF WITHOUT THEM BY MY SIDE. IS THAT PART A JOKE? WAS EVERYTHING A JOKE? WHY THE TIMING, RIGHT AFTER THAT DREAM. why. am I forever lonely. I know why, because I'm a demon a curse. I can never live an actual life. never be happy. No matter how much time passes I'll always be in love with them and can never move on. I just wanna die so so so so badly iiim so over nobody has any idea