This was a mean friend or i was been dramatic?
So this story happened years ago, but until now it is still haunting me, maybe due to the strong attachment I had for this person, perhaps I was emotionally dependent. I met this girl when we were at school as teens (now we both are in our 20s). Since day 1 I noticed that she was a bit odd, like the kind of person that nobody can hate or dislike, but I always had the feeling that she was way too perfect, that she was hiding something, because she always wanted to be liked and praised by others, but not in the pick-me way; it was sort of fake kindness to others. Time went by and we both became closer, until her parents started the divorce, which was extremely messy and almost nobody knew. She asked me to keep it as a secret (which I did until she was okay with telling others about it). Her family was always cozy and a refuge for others, it was almost like the perfect movie families from the USA (we are not from the USA); they tried very hard to be. In the middle of the divorce, financial problems hit her family. She said that they didn't have enough to eat and paying for school was getting difficult. I tried to support her and respect her in anything she wanted or did not want to do, BUT it was like they were starving (from what she said) but still living with lavish things. If you are in a messed-up situation, I believe that maybe you can sell them or not buy them at all. Now I believe that maybe they were used to having some luxury and it doesn't matter how bad things can be, they always have to have those things (Apple things, smartwatches, professional cameras, holidays, branded clothes, expensive restaurants, etc.).
When we started college, we both studied at the same university (a private one) but in different careers. She started having huge problems with her dad, and paying for her education was getting impossible because her dad refused to pay if she and her sister went to visit their mother. In the end, she ended up dropping out and started working as a waitress. In the meantime, my own family was having financial problems as well, but I did end my career thanks to my amazing father. Anyway, I was also living in a situation where domestic violence was getting higher (I never witnessed something like that in my life until then, I was like 19 or so) and my environment was really bad for me, so I was really depressed. Socially at college, I was being bullied and never really fit in, so it was hard for me, but I never told my family due to shame. I told her, because by that time she was my only friend and I thought that maybe as we were having some similar problems we could grow closer. I have to admit that the odd feeling that she was hiding something and not being honest with me was in the back of my head, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I felt that she was getting tired of me, and I wish that she had told me the truth at that time because she knew that I would accept and respect whatever she decided. I was her ride or die (or that's what I believed).
As time passed by, she and her sister got kicked out of their father's house and returned to their mother's, where money was a really huge problem (but they still lived with luxury), but she was more relaxed and healing, so I felt really happy for her. Until one day I went to her house and she told me that her little sister was going as an illegal immigrant to the USA, because her aunt lives there and was going to adopt her as her daughter so that she could get a nationality and study there. She told me that she was meant to go as well in 2 weeks (but problems made her stay) and she didn't want to tell anyone. Her plan was to disappear from the lives of everyone that loved and supported her for many years. I cried because I was about to lose my only friend and she wasn't going to tell me where she was, just disappear. That was something that was not great for me, because I would never do that to someone I was supposed to be friends with. She told me that I must keep everything as a secret because that was her will, so I did what I always did: respected and supported her.
During the following months, her sister had gone, and she was waiting to do so. I noticed that she didn't want to tell me many things as in the past, and she told me that she was changing and now I got to know the "premium" her, implying that all the years that we were friends I was only meeting the "free" her. Again, I didn't want to break the spell because I was scared and I didn't want to leave her alone. It was a big anxiety every time we hung out, because I didn't know when it was going to be the last time I saw her (her plans of disappearance were still up), so I tried really hard to always make things perfect and comfortable for her. I wanted to enjoy every moment possible. The last time we met in person, she offered to read the tarot for me in her house, and I cried a lot because I knew in my gut that I was never going to see her again. During the reading, she told me that I was going to be always alone and things like that (now I believe that she did that on purpose to hurt my feelings, because she knew I was struggling with that topic at college).
Until one day, it was around 11 PM and she sent me a text saying that she was going to leave tomorrow and we couldn't meet because she wanted to spend the day with her mother. I think I didn't sleep at all that night because I cried a lot. The day came, and she told me before that she didn't want anyone to contact her except me and that she was going to give me her new number. Funny thing is that in the end she sent me a text saying that she wasn't going to give any way to contact her, that she was going to reach out to me when she was ready, and since then she never contacted me again. I cried and grieve a lot asking me what did i do wrong?, abandoned, disrespected, just broken, because I felt that she threw me in the bin like shit from one day to another, and that caused me a huge trauma over friendship and people in general. Later I knew that she contacted other people except me (she went to the USA as an illegal immigrant in the end, but she was working, not studying like her sister; tough, but that was the opportunity for her maybe). I don't know, maybe she was sick of me and didn't want to come clean and tell me straight that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I wish she could have, that would have hurt a lot less than being left without any kind of emotional responsibility to acknowledge things. I believe what hurt me the most is that I was always by her side in everything she wanted to do. I never told her not to go to the USA because I knew that she was tired, frustrated, and demotivated to live in the shitty country that we lived in. I was really happy that she got an opportunity like that, and maybe because in the end I ended up being disposable, that's what messed me up, and the emotional abandonment. What do you think about it?