Put down my family dog and I’m struggling
Sorry long post - I just don’t know how to process this.
I wasn’t expecting to have to do this today - but I went home for just another day of visiting my parents and ended up at the emergency vet to put down our sweet 15 year old German Shepard. He’s been struggling with his mobility for over a year and as of 4 months ago lost all mobility of his back legs and basically has been dragging himself around the backyard. It’s our family dog, but it’s also technically my dads and he had been having a hard time pulling the trigger to let him go.
After a talk with my dad today he asked me if my husband and I could help him take him to the vet to do what he hadn’t been able to do for months and as much as it hurt we agreed. He just had no quality of life at that point. I was reluctant, but ultimately knew if I didn’t help him them, he wouldn’t be able to do it. Anyway my two brothers and dad were all there when we sent him into his forever sleep.
I’ve never felt a pain more deep in my chest. There was a moment where I was holding him and they gave him the sedative and I started panicking and crying like I never had before. Up until then I had never seen a euthanasia. Our other family dogs passed at home and I wasn’t there when it happened. I can’t explain the feeling as it was happening to want them to stop and hope that he would get better. It was all over in an instant but everyone screamed in pain when he stopped moving. I’ve never felt this way.
I have two dogs of my own, but I’ve known Tarzan for 15 years. He was the most gentle goofy giant and I’m so sad that he suffered for so long and that I didn’t get a chance to give him a better goodbye. I can’t close my eyes without seeing his and I fear I am forever traumatized.