u/Inner-Platypus-2508

**TW: CHILD ABUSE**

I’d like to say it was a golden childhood
Broken up by a sprinkling of pain
But candor would disagree

What it was, was a long endless
String of terrible things
No child should have to face.

And yet,
all I remember are the pretty sunsets
The time spent running wild
Five children allowed to just be
In the moments we were free

Golden hours
spent hunting down wild raspberries
Free falling down giant hills
On bikes you hoped still had brakes
Sneaking through corn fields
To find something to feed the neighbors pigs
Sprinting through grass as tall as you
With no concern except for finding
each other on the other side

It was strong and stormy winds
Loud music and silly dances
Forests and freedom
Make believe and fantasy
It was everything but it was a dream.

One where my siblings’ smiles
Were seared in my mind.

And yet,
I still get flashes of their screams
My infinite attempts to save them
Five children scraping by,
Trying to survive.

Endless hours
Being hunted by bruising hands
Stomachs dropping with anxiety
Knowing you were next
Hoping if you were still enough
You may go unnoticed and unpunished
Running away from a very real threat
Hoping everyone had gotten out.

It was sobs and scared hushes
Overheard fights and fragile peace
Brown belts and red welts
Dissociation and dissonance
It was nothing but it was our hell.

One where my siblings’ sobs
were seared in my mind.

It was both.
Everything and nothing.
Golden and endless.

A beautiful short-lived dream,
And an ever burning bottomless hell.

I honestly just had to get this down and wanted to share. Thank you.
Comments
https://www.reddit.com/r/PoetryWritingClub/s/Bvyr0BTPKb

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qbO5mpyEvV

TW: CHILD ABUSE

I’d like to say it was a golden childhood
Broken up by a sprinkling of pain
But candor would disagree

What it was, was a long endless
String of terrible things
No child should have to face.

And yet,
all I remember are the pretty sunsets
The time spent running wild
Five children allowed to just be
In the moments we were free

Golden hours
spent hunting down wild raspberries
Free falling down giant hills
On bikes you hoped still had brakes
Sneaking through corn fields
To find something to feed the neighbors pigs
Sprinting through grass as tall as you
With no concern except for finding
each other on the other side

It was strong and stormy winds
Loud music and silly dances
Forests and freedom
Make believe and fantasy
It was everything but it was a dream.

One where my siblings’ smiles
Were seared in my mind.

And yet,
I still get flashes of their screams
My infinite attempts to save them
Five children scraping by,
Trying to survive.

Endless hours
Being hunted by bruising hands
Stomachs dropping with anxiety
Knowing you were next
Hoping if you were still enough
You may go unnoticed and unpunished
Running away from a very real threat
Hoping everyone had gotten out.

It was sobs and scared hushes
Overheard fights and fragile peace
Brown belts and red welts
Dissociation and dissonance
It was nothing but it was our hell.

One where my siblings’ sobs
were seared in my mind.

It was both.
Everything and nothing.
Golden and endless.

A beautiful short-lived dream,
And an ever burning bottomless hell.

I honestly just had to get this down and wanted to share. Thank you.

soft voices and sweet nothings
even softer skin and sweeter candies
all the nice things in life remind me of you

first snow freeze outs
long drives, sat comfy in the passenger seat
singing until we couldn’t anymore

gentle brushes of fingertips down my arm
cuddles with ease on the couch
giggle for hours with no restraint

hushed tones and quiet hours
empty office buildings
late night nerf gun fights

the sight of untouched snow
the smell of early morning coffee
the feel of fuzzy socks and huge hoodies
the sound of silly French phrases
and the taste of chocolate and peppermint

I hope all we ever do is keep creating things that remind me of you
Im so grateful that all I’ve ever known is a life beside you
Because none of these things would hold any joy if they hadn’t been shared with you

(I wrote this for someone so it is super specific and I know that can be limiting for the audience. But I figured I’d share it anyway! Hope you enjoy! As always feed back is appreciated and I thank you for reading!)

soft voices and sweet nothings
even softer skin and sweeter candies
all the nice things in life remind me of you

first snow freeze outs
long drives, sat comfy in the passenger seat
singing until we couldn’t anymore

gentle brushes of fingertips down my arm
cuddles with ease on the couch
giggle for hours with no restraint

hushed tones and quiet hours
empty office buildings
late night nerf gun fights

the sight of untouched snow
the smell of early morning coffee
the feel of fuzzy socks and huge hoodies
the sound of silly French phrases
and the taste of chocolate and peppermint

I hope all we ever do is keep creating things that remind me of you
Im so grateful that all I’ve ever known is a life beside you
Because none of these things would hold any joy if they hadn’t been shared with you

(I wrote this for someone so it is super specific and I know that can be limiting for the audience. But I figured I’d share it anyway! Hope you enjoy! As always feed back is appreciated and I thank you for reading!)

soft voices and sweet nothings
even softer skin and sweeter candies
all the nice things in life remind me of you

first snow freeze outs
long drives, sat comfy in the passenger seat
singing until we couldn’t anymore

gentle brushes of fingertips down my arm
cuddles with ease on the couch
giggle for hours with no restraint

hushed tones and quiet hours
empty office buildings
late night nerf gun fights

the sight of untouched snow
the smell of early morning coffee
the feel of fuzzy socks and huge hoodies
the sound of silly French phrases
and the taste of chocolate and peppermint

I hope all we ever do is keep creating things that remind me of you
Im so grateful that all I’ve ever known is a life beside you
Because none of these things would hold any joy if they hadn’t been shared with you

(I wrote this for someone so it is super specific and I know that can be limiting for the audience. But I figured I’d share it anyway! Hope you enjoy! As always feed back is appreciated)

Comments

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Awo9rpUSks

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HUAEZSM81A

Sometimes I sleep on the couch
in my living room
With a throw blanket
the spare comforter
And a decorative pillow under my head

It reminds me of visiting you in college
When I’d come home
And all the beds I grew up on would be filled
I’d be offered to share
Or the air mattresses we used for camping
But I’d always take the couch

Obviously not for the comfort
But the location
You were always up first
And I knew you’d have to walk past me
To get your morning coffee

I never slept so lightly as those mornings
You’d always try to be quiet
Tip toeing your way, slowly opening the door
Unknowing that I’ve been waiting all night
To hear the creak of that first stair
Because I knew

I knew we’d have an extra few hours
Uninterrupted and peaceful
Of each other’s presence
Which was hard to come by in our house

So when I miss you
Sometimes I sleep on the couch

With your old comforter
I remember you buying and replacing
And the pillows you picked out
last time we went to the store together
Wearing your hoodie I stole
with no intention of returning

Just to have the hope
of those extra few hours

Uninterrupted and peaceful

———
I appreciate any feedback! Thanks!

Comments:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/el3sETMxW1

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/V1TKMKHdtV

Sadness and Fury wage war within me
Just when Fury seems to have found its spark
Sadness sends a wave crashing through
Smothering the embers before they even got to burn

Innocence is what keeps Sadness one step ahead
She’s quick to take bounding leaps forward naively
Having faith that there must be a reason
That if only she had done better

But Fury is happy to lose the war
She willfully bows out, relieved with the surrender
Her blazing heat and jagged edges washed away
However bitter, she’d love to be proven wrong

For with age, she’s come to know far too much
And once the reality of her opinion catches
The fire will be never ending, all will be engulfed
No hope or innocence left to staunch the flames

Burning furiously, for there was no reason
At least not a good one.
There was no safe way out, only through
And surviving was the best we could do

Walking a fine line taut with fear
Between a trusting and hopeful ocean
And a worn down, tired bed of embers
Standing at attention, falling into formation, gripping a tight leash on the War raging below

——
I’d love to hear what you think, open to feedback of any kind!

Sadness and Fury wage war within me
Just when Fury seems to have found its spark
Sadness sends a wave crashing through
Smothering the embers before they even got to burn

Innocence is what keeps Sadness one step ahead
She’s quick to take bounding leaps forward naively
Having faith that there must be a reason
That if only she had done better

But Fury is happy to lose the war
She willfully bows out, relieved with the surrender
Her blazing heat and jagged edges washed away
However bitter, she’d love to be proven wrong

For with age, she’s come to know far too much
And once the reality of her opinion catches
The fire will be never ending, all will be engulfed
No hope or innocence left to staunch the flames

Burning furiously, for there was no reason
At least not a good one.
There was no safe way out, only through
And surviving was the best we could do

Walking a fine line taut with fear
Between a trusting and hopeful ocean
And a worn down, tired bed of embers
Standing at attention, falling into formation, gripping a tight leash on the War raging below

———————-
Here’s another one, this one came up today after a hard therapy session.

Comments

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/v0CJ0b0wuF

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/sqw4hD3PBu

“Ferns are one of the first things
to grow back after a fire”
Was a quote that meant everything
To a plant obsessed teenager

Nearly all of my best childhood memories
Were out in nature
Running through the forest next to the house
Or dancing in a windstorm
Finding honeysuckles to pick,
hoping that they were a sweet one

In fact, of the memories I have left
All of the ones I prize were in nature

So when I was raped on a hilltop,
Surrounded by all my favorite shades of green,
Trees I’d admired on the hike up,
And friends I thought I knew

I couldn’t cope.
That the place that had always been safe
That had always looked after me
Didn’t. It sat and watched.

And the world kept spinning
The sun still rose the next day
The wind still blew
The flowers still blossomed
And the ferns still waved

And yet I didn’t.

I was trapped in a fog,
Pinned to the ground
With one thought that remained
Wilderness had abandoned me.

After that I tried desperately
To bounce back after being scorched
To clear away the haze and the ash
To dance with the wind and the sun

Once again.

—————
Hi, first post. Just got back into poetry and have just been writing what comes to mind and haven’t edited much. Sorry for the jarring topic, I hope I used the tw correctly. I use Reddit a lot but have never posted so I’m trying my best lol. I’d love to hear what anyone thinks! All feedback is appreciated.

Comments

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/UIP0K5P1nr

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5iUzxhYJse