I wanna end it all
I’m 22 and I’m genuinely exhausted with life.
My family is struggling financially, my mental health is destroyed, I’m on psychiatric medication, burnt out, lonely, emotionally numb, and I honestly don’t remember the last time I felt peace. Every day feels like survival with no reward at the end of it.
I tried working harder. I tried praying. I tried spirituality. I tried keeping faith when everything inside me was collapsing. Nothing changes for long. Life just keeps finding new ways to break me.
And on top of everything, the woman I loved left me for another guy. I see them together almost every day and it honestly kills something inside me each time. It feels like I wasn’t enough in any aspect of life — not financially, not emotionally, not mentally. Watching someone you loved choose someone else while your entire life is already falling apart is a different kind of pain.
I feel deprived of love, rest, purpose, hope — everything. I’m tired of pretending I’m strong. I’m tired of hearing “things will get better” when every year somehow becomes worse than the previous one.
And honestly, I’ve started feeling like ending everything because I genuinely don’t know how much more of this I can carry alone.
I’m posting this because maybe someone here has been this broken before and somehow survived it. If you did, tell me how you got through it, because right now I genuinely cannot see a future for myself anymore.
I am on benzodiazepines and will sleep tonight. I am hoping to hear from y'all tomorrow, if ever I wake up.
Give a reasons to push, live. I just don't wanna survive. I wanna live.
Om Namah Shivaya,
Aadhithya