I feel like I have nothing left.
Because I don't. I haven't had a haircut in three years. I haven't had a manicure or pedicure in three years. I see my one friend now, once a year. I never eat out. I have bought three pairs of pants in 4 years. I work from home. I had to drop out of my master's degree because of money. My life savings is gone. Meanwhile, husband ate out almost daily for years despite our agreed upon budget, and lied to my face. I'm talking $185 a week while I'm spending less than $100 on me and it's basically my medication. He'd rather eat fast food than have a date with me. We had ONE date planned so far this year and it got canceled because we found out our middle son had a stolen gun and lowkey joined a gang. I am so angry. I am so resentful and I feel so trapped. I feel like every kindness at this point is another lie trying to keep me in when I am so much worse, so much more traumatized, broken, financially broken, than I was seven years ago. I'm so angry at me. Because I can't be mad at him anymore because he's shown me that it's all a lie. I'm so sick of my stepsons.I just want to feel SAFE and comfortable in my own home.