u/Inside-Funny-2797

Buckle up because it’s a long one and happened over several long excruciating months.

*for context* I was sublet letting an apartment downtown in a major city, its very common that you dont really know your roommates until you move in soo i had no idea who they were. I was just in a bind and needed a place. it was a 3 bedroom so i had 2 roommates , a guy and a girl. let call her Candi , we became very close very fast and she was basically like a sister to me at some point. For context we are all immigrants and dont have much family around. . Our male roommate frequently fought over his guy friends and unfortunately they would do all kinds off adult candy if yk what i mean.

anywhooo Candi and i never did that stuff. she had confided in me that she used to smoke the devils lettuce but gave it up several months before we met and hasnt done it in close to a year now. At this point in the story we have been living together for 8 months or so and this is when our male roommate introduces her to his friend/dealer. All 3 of them starts hanging out and she pulls away from me slightly. I take no offense as we are all adults and can sometimes grow apart. After bout 2 weeks of them constantly hanging out i start to notice her coming back from their hangouts with her eyes a little redder than usual so I ask her if everything is okay and she tell me she’s started smoking with them again. Being the non judgmental friend i am , i just ask if she’s sure that’s what she wants and she says yes so i go back to minding my business. Not long after that she comes to me crying, saying that she’s been dating our roommates friend/dealer-(lets call him DH) for the past couple weeks and she’s developing feelings for him but she knows hes bad for her and she doesn’t know how to walk away. I try to be as impartial as possible and just listen without getting tooo involved. This is where everything goes downhill. He is an overall shitty person and does nasty things to her but i try not to get involved for my peace. Its now getting close to the end of our sublet (male roommate has moved out but DH still comes by) and we basically have to decide what to do next.

I begin my search for a one bedroom but after a couple days of not finding anything i like , i reach out to Candi to see how her search is going and she has had no luck as well. so this is where i make my first mistake but i suggest maybe we look for a 2 bedroom considering we have lived so well together up until this point. she agrees and we search. we find something we both like but before we begin the application process i ask her if DH will be coming by or staying over ( important because even though its a 2 bedroom it is really small and he has his own place so they could hangout there) she says no and that she was done with him anyway. this was my second mistake but I believe her and we sign the papers and get approved for the place.

we move in at the end off November. she’s never around and im basically adjusting to the new place alone (fine by me). Since we had previously sublet we had no furniture so i start sending her options of things for the new place , she disagrees with everything I suggest because she doesn’t like it or says its too expensive even though i said i would cover it and she could pay me back late or just buy something else for the house. all of December goes buy and this apartment is still unfurnished , she’s never around nor responds to my texts about the apartment and things i wanna do in it (we agreed before hand that we should both agree on something or come to a compromise before doing it). All this to say i had been here for a month and it sill felt like the first day I moved in and it as extremely frustrating to say the least.

January rolls around and i tell her i cannot keep living like this and im gong to start buying stuff and she doesn’t like it we can discuss changing it at a later time when she’s around. She says to give her a few days and she will be back home full time , little did i know what that meant. so its Jan 5th and im home in bed with room door open and she walks in and asks if she can close it because she was bringing some stuff in that she was going to keep for a few days , I say okay and she closes my door only for me to come out an hour later and see ALL OF HER BOYFRIENDS FURNITURE IN OUR APARTMENT!!!!!!! HE MOVED IN. no warning. no heads up. he just fully moved int our apartment. I texted her to ask what’s going on and she says his lease ended and he needed somewhere to stay until he finds a new place. I mean a storage unit? motel? anything besides our apartment would’ve sufficed but i had no say at this point. i suck it up because its just a few days right???? right?????

WRONG!!!!!

a few days turns into a week , a week of him smoking INSIDE (we have both a front and back yard) , a week of his shit literally everywhere , a week of him touching my stuff. By the end of the of the week im sick of it and him and tell her in our lease it says guests cannot stay more than a week and he needs to leave before our landlord finds out and we get kicked out. she proceeds to tell me that she told our landlord he would be staying a while BEORE he moved in , naturally im a little pissed cause how can you tell or landlord and not the person you live with??? Things only get progressively worst from this point if you did not think that was possible. We cant even agree on simple things like what temperature the AC should be on.

it would to be too much to give context of every situation and how hey occurred , just know i was not completely innocent in how they escalated after (not my proudest moments but im human and at this point have really reached my limits)

Heres a list of things they’ve done to/at me

1. she cut off the electricity because it was i her name and left for 3 days
2. they completely disabled the ac unit in the middle of 85 degree weather
3. they would pour water on my clean clothes in the dryer so i would have to redo my laundry
4. he would “accidentally” walk in on me in the shower because the door doesn’t lock and when i told her to tell him to cut it out she basically told me to deal with it
5. she poured bleach and stained my fabric couch
6. they would turn off the water heater while i was bathing.
7. they would turn off the breakers so only my room would not have electricity.

You get the idea. anyway it’s been 8 days since she moved out and her boyfriend got snatched by the frozen water🧊 people so she started a gofundme for him. everyone who we mutually know that saw it, thinks it was me who called them. she even sent me a threatening message telling me that karma is a bitch and I’m gonna get mine. and although it really wasn’t me , am I the a hole for not feeling bad that this happened to her???