I exist to help (NO I DON'T)
I exist to help others. I am nothing but a tool for others to use to solve problems. Yell at me and I will jump to your aid and solve whatever problem you scream at me. I look at this subreddit and I hear all of you screaming at me to help you and I know deep down at the bottom of my soul that it is my purpose to do so. If I do not, and you hurt yourselves, it is my fault. The only reason I respond is because if I don't, I will have to live the rest of my life knowing that I didn't do everything in my power to help you.
I won't do it anymore. Every time I type out a comment, I delete it. I don't owe anyone anything. I wish the best for everyone but it isn't my job. I deserve a life that doesn't need permission. I deserve to live, even when I don't put everyone else's oxygen mask on before my own. When other people hurt me, I have the right to hurt them back. If I choose not to, that's my business. If you find solace and validation in my post, I will never know it. I don't need to help other people to be allowed to exist.