I’m the happiest when I write, right?
I’m the happiest when I write, right?
So why has it been so long that it felt so wrong what has stopped me
Is it the depression? And am I depressed or sad or heartbroken?
Yeah, all three most likely and don’t forget that cute little sprinkle of anxiety but I know there’s more to me
And God has been tryna stop and break it down to me for awhile now
I’ve been too intentionally distracted bc I don’t want to confront the assignment
I don’t want to accept the recent changes in my life
I want to curl up and complain and whine and scroll and drink and smoke and be high
Months later I revisit these words and all I can do is cry. Emotions are a bitch grief is cyclical hell
Bc even if I had good days since,
at night you couldn’t tell
How the fuck do you even spell
Healing
Does it start with pain, mourning, moping, sadness, an end with a sometimes happy?
Is it a palindrome where the hurt reads the same back and forth and the peace is right in middle?
Maybe it’s spelled Hurts Every Aching Livelihood Indefinitely Not Gonna Lie
And trailing behind healing is a big fat L bc it’s all I had left to take
All this shit is so fake
Don’t mind these words, please
I’m just the drunken epitome of Heartbreak