u/Inside_Sea5448

I hate myself. I really do. I know there are people around me that want me to die. There are people around me that talk about me all of the time. I have friends, I have everything I could want at the moment, and I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I could be grateful for what I have and move on with life, but no matter what I do, I can’t ignore every little thing that happens around me. I feel mentally unstable. I should be locked up. There are so many people around me that have it worse, there are people that would beg to be in the place I am. I’m not stupid, I’m not a loner, there’s truly nothing greatly wrong with me.. but I still want to disappear. I’m too much of a coward to hurt myself. I’m too scared of what happens next to kill myself, but I really do. I don’t even hate myself to the point where I would be considered suicidal or depressed, I’m just sad. I don’t deserve to be considered depressed or any of that. I’m so ungrateful for everything I wish I was never born in the first place sometimes so nobody would have to know me at all. I ugly cry every day, I try to cope by writing it all down but it never helps completely. I wish there was a way for it all to end. My school life really isn’t helping.. nobody knows me for the person I am. They just know me as that “one girl who’s hella good at math” or something. I don’t even like math. I wish I was good at things I enjoy but I just aren’t. I’m too impatient to keep a habit. I’m too busy to find time to do something. I really wish there was a way for it all to end. I’m scared of dying, but going through something scary is better than being in a life I don’t deserve.

It was about a boy and a girl in a library, the book itself had the library featured on the cover I think and it had something blue on it. The girl had braids and reddish brown hair, and the boy was blonde. I believe the library was someone’s father’s study room. The boy climbed up to a shelf using a ladder and got a book, which was really big. He opened it up and it turned out he could go inside of it. There were white stairs leading to the inside of the book. I don’t remember the book having many words. Inside of the book, there was a weird world I think everything was relatively grey and white, there might’ve been a blue sky. There was some sort of monster that stole the girl away by her braids and took her to the top of a mountain. the boy climbed up to it to save her and he did, and they ran back to the stairs. I think someone was struggling with the monster but they made it back safe. back in the library the boy was hurt somehow by the monster I believe but the girl gave him a bandage. i think the book ended with them walking away from the open magical book that still had the stairs. the title of the book had the word “book” in it. I think it was either published in the early 2000s or sometime before. the artstyle was really 90s picture book esque.

It was about a boy and a girl in a library, the book itself had the library featured on the cover I think and it had something blue on it. The girl had braids and reddish brown hair, and the boy was blonde. I believe the library was someone’s father’s study room. The boy climbed up to a shelf using a ladder and got a book, which was really big. He opened it up and it turned out he could go inside of it. There were white stairs leading to the inside of the book. I don’t remember the book having many words. Inside of the book, there was a weird world I think everything was relatively grey and white, there might’ve been a blue sky. There was some sort of monster that stole the girl away by her braids and took her to the top of a mountain. the boy climbed up to it to save her and he did, and they ran back to the stairs. I think someone was struggling with the monster but they made it back safe. back in the library the boy was hurt somehow by the monster I believe but the girl gave him a bandage. i think the book ended with them walking away from the open magical book that still had the stairs. the title of the book had the word “book” in it. I think it was either published in the early 2000s or sometime before. the artstyle was really 90s picture book esque.