My bf made an acc in OF
Disclaimer: idk if this is the right community but i really need other people’s perspective.
Me (22F) and my bf (21M) have been together for almost three years. We were doing great as a couple and in a healthy rs at the same time. We’ve been through a serious ups and downs and accepted each other’s flaws. Intimacy is a part of our relationship (we started after one year of being together) and pics have been sent to satisfy one’s need. Last year, i asked him if he’s still watching since i caught him multiple times through websites and his gallery before we become intimate. He said what i’ve been sending him is enough and that he’s not watching. With that, my trust in him grew since for me, it means he’s not looking to any woman’s body other than mine.
Well, that’s what I thought.
This year, i caught him. He watched smtng here in reddit and it was opened in incognito. When confronted, he told me he used my picture but it isnt enough. And then today, i saw a verification for onlyf*ns in his other gmail acc that he doesn’t usually use. When i found out about it, i feel betrayed since i trusts his words. This isnt the only time na hindi niya pinanindigan mga salita niya. I wanna forgive him and give him a benefit of the doubt pero parang wala na. He’s a good boyfriend to me that’s why i want us to go back to our usual ways pero ang layo na ng loob ko sakanya after that. In my defense, if ganon pa lang ngayon, what more once we have our own job na (we’ll graduate next year) knowing yung mga tao sa industry? Aside from that, i’ve built courage and confidence so that i could send him those pics. Knowing na it’s not enough, it made me feel bad about my body.
Right now, ayokong magstay kami na ganito. I wanna work this out with him but i dont know how na. Am i being unreasonable and petty? Am i being mababaw? If yes, can you please explain why? Common ba talaga sa mga lalaki to na need ko lang tanggapin? For guys na may jowa na nagsesend sakanila ng intimate pics, do you still watch sa mga sites ba to satisfy your needs kapag wala sa tabi niyo gf niyo? I am an open minded person wherein i analyze criticisms and reflect it onto myself. This time, i really need others perspective. Thank you
Additional: what i mentioned above is yung mga time na nahuli ko lang siya. Who knows kung ilang beses nang nangyari yon.