He grew up in muslim environment. Been to masjid at young age, grew up with mostly Muslim friends. Even when he went away to university, we made sure his roommates were muslim kids from community so his faith stays strong plus my parents visited weekly to take him food, zabiha halal food..etc.
Things were going good, even when he found a job far from home.. he did frequent trips home and we always emphasize religion. We knew he was looking for marriage slowly and we tried helping him by sharing girls info and we knew he was on apps which we supported. He rejected many of the girls we proposed for one reason and wanted to try finding someone without family involvement first. So we backed off.
All of sudden, last year he says he met a nonmuslim women he wants to be with. We were shocked and disappointed but eventually said if she converts to Islam, we will be happy to do nikka and welcome her in. Well he refuse to ask her to convert, thinks it is unfair to her which is reasonable. He still wants us to meet her but no talk of marriage
We questioned where he stands on Islam & he claims he has strong faith n muslim man can marry non muslim. But she is not even a practicing christian, she grew up one. He does go to jummah and fast & still surrounded by islam.
He doesnt want to listen to logic + statistics of these type of marriage not working out long term. At this point we want to save his soul and he wants us to meet this girl. We dont know how to navigate this.
If we agree to meet her without condition of converstion or nikka, then we are accepting their zina life. Maybe he will keep going down the path of haram and lose whatever faith he has left in him.
if we insist on nikka without faith then it is just a show, what is the point? For society to save face?
If we refuse to meet then he might lose the little faith he has in his life and turn further away from Islam.
we can only control our action and not his. What is best move for us to not lose him but also knock some sense in him. Should the siblings meet her and not parents?