u/InspectionBright4169

me and my LD boyfriend have been together for 8 months. things have been going very well recently and im moving to his state 1 hr from him in literally 17 days. the other day i texted him wyd and left my phone in my room charging bc my grandpa needed help with something on his phone and i got caught up in that. so he was on delivered for 45 minutes and thought i was ignoring him. im guessing that made him overthink and he checked my blocked instagram accounts?(hes my guardian on there MY choice i wasn’t forced, i have age restrictions on there and just put him as my parent so i can see all the reels he sends. he found a guy i talked to before me and my bf got together and has an app that tracks when i block people? he saw the guy was blocked 2 months ago. not 8. at first i was like what? two months ago? then i realized this is because 2 months ago while i was on sleep call with bf like we do every night i wake up to me calling this guy so im guessing my contacts were open and i didn’t even know i still had his number. that’s how not close we were and how much i wasn’t worried about bro lol. out of panic and being half asleep i immediately blocked it and went on instagram and unblocked his account,viewed it and re blocked it. i even had him blocked on roblox lmao. i honestly don’t know why i did that i was overthinking maybe he would have screen shot the call at 3am and tagged me and my bf on some evil shit trying to make me look bad. i know it sounds like i did something sneaky and my bf thinks i cheated but i didn’t.i screen shared and let him go through everything and he doesn’t understand it and saw we still had a chat theme on instagram so he saw that as me recently texting him. chat themes can stay after months. me not being fully transparent about how me and this guy played roblox, tt mutuals,and followed eachothers instagram.and i had his number that’s how we would face time to play rb. him having to look for all of this and find out instead of me just telling the whole story made him angry. i should’ve just been fully honest from the start and i understand,but now i know being fully truthful and him is better than protecting his feelings by lying. lying about small things is bad and i took responsibility for my mistake. he thought about breaking up with me but we talked it out and we’re still together but it’s 3 days later and things aren’t perfect which i wasn’t expecting but i just hate this. even if the guy played me before and he doesn’t matter to me at all the fact that i lied about something small is big and wrong. so i broke his trust. he knows and believes i didn’t cheat on him but him getting cheated on in past rls makes him have trust issues. i’ve also been cheated on and watched my mom get cheated on 10+ times by my father.id never do that to him or anyone. i love this man so much ive never kept a rls for so long. i wanna make it forever. i made a mistake and we never got in an argument before this.i just don’t know how long it’s gonna take to rebuild the trust and what if things are never the same?? im being mature about it and he is too but he goes silent when upset and every now and then it seems like he gets in his head again and starts being cold to me and ignored me for hours last night. it’s only been 3 days since it went down so ofc he’s still gonna be upset. im just glad he’s giving me one more chance and didn’t give up on me. couples are supposed to work through stuff like this. this also all happened the night before his birthday so it feels like a huge betrayal to him. i know i didn’t do anything wrong but the fact that he’s overthinking hurts so bad. he cried on the phone and so did i we both didn’t wanna break up. i know im yapping but i feel like all these details matter. to me what matters is OUR relationship we’re together and anything that we had with someone else before doesn’t matter to me. i WISH we both never had any other rls or talking stages but that’s just not how life works. i feel like telling him every single tiny detail about what happened between me and this guy and having my bf text him and ask him if we ever texted the time we’ve been tg is the only thing that’s gonna make him fully understand i didn’t text the guy or ever cheat. i lied out of habit and fear i thought telling him every detail would have made it worse but now i see only telling a part and lying was worse. it just looks so confusing on his side and these things are hard to do as long distance. ive lied about small things since i was little. im never doing that again bc now i know it just makes things worse and you should be fully transparent. he has lied to me before but it was in the early stage. i stalked reposts and saw him reposting ab a gf the week before we started talking. he originally told me they were broken up for months. but that doesn’t matter he’s been honest always. pls ask questions and give opinions and advice!!