My experience dating as an autistic male
Just writing this incase anyone else out there is struggling. You're not crazy
I'm an okay looking person and I've had a couple of girlfriends in my life. But when I became an adult all that shit went downhill. I took up dating apps and everyone knows how toxic the culture is but I got desperate.
I ended up getting a match and talking with this girl who was about an hour away from me. We had good chemistry over text and FaceTime but when we went to the beach date, it was a crash and burn. The beginning went well but I ended up missing signals, confusing signals, not knowing when to initiate touching. It was just a fucking mess and as I dropped her to her place I knew I fucked up. I can't even explain how I did, the best way I can explain was that it felt like the longer I was with her the less she liked me.
Now you might be thinking this could just be a me issue, and you might be partly correct.
But after the date she became dry and stopped talking to me as much, then she sent me the thing that put her off was my confidence. She said she wanted a man that was decisive, confident, knows what he wants, and talks clearly.
Initially I said "Yeah for sure I'll work on that, I'll change for you" but today after thinking about it I just decided to cut it clean. Because I literally can't change that. I just cant. But I notice this as a common theme, there's just this fundamental disconnect. Not to say neurotypicals and neurodivergent relationships can't work, by all means they can its just that for my experience it's impossible.
I wish I was smooth socially but even my friends tell me its obvious that im autistic. I say whatever comes to my mind, out of place things that would make a stranger question what im talking about, I have a weird humor that only my friends laugh at, its just fucked. But yeah I just find dating extremely difficult, and it makes me want to not even try the apps anymore. My friends say I'm good looking, everyone says I look fine and the only thing I can think of is my autism
I just keep saying the wrong things its so embarrassing. And then what the hell am I supposed to do when a woman looks at me with "that" expression. Its disgusting how bad I am at knowing what to do.
Long story short if you're bad with ladies I feel your pain! I'll probably be struggling with dating for life, it just feels unfair that a condition i can't control handicaps me. Thanks for reading