28M, really struggling with my emotions lately.
I am having such a hard time managing my emotions the last year.
The girl I was talking to for a year didnt work out, I miss her so much, and part of the friend group collapsed because of it.
Im getting anxious, stressed, and irritated by everything.
I feel like people take advantage of me in a lot of ways and when I cant take the disrespect any more they make me feel like the bad guy.
I am consistently stressed about money. I have a decent paying job and have really good benefits and a very well established career but I still stress about spending. I tend to be inconsistent on bringing my lunch and not eating out.
Work is been very rough lately. I dread going to work because of the group or environment im with right now. Im missing around 3 or 4 days of work a month. Im unhappy because we are slow right now and they have me temporarly working for another company until things speed up and I hate the way they run things and how hostile the co workers are.
I know its temporary because we are slow and lack of work, this happened one other time for 2 months about a year ago at this company (Ive been employed with them for 2 years) Its just uncomfortable and uneasy to go to work, but im for the most part satisfied and happy to go to work any other time. Im stressed they will fire me because i keep calling out but I told them once I really am unhappy being temporarally employed by the other company. I hope they understand.
I miss my old friends from years back. I miss my old life. I miss being happy.
My friends and close ones say my mental health is declining. They claim im resentful, bitter all the time, and have a short fuse. I am trying so hard to manage it all on my own. My stomach is in pain every morning i wake up.
I try my best to go make it to the gym 3-4 times a week. I try to eat healthy. I try to save money and bring food from home but i struggle a lot with it.
I have therapy twice a month. I had the same therapist for 4 years and there great but about a year a go I had to to start paying out of pocket because they only do virtual visits and I have to pay out of pocket since my health insurance changed a year ago and doesnt do virtual.
I have 4 really close friends who are very concerned about me. I am concerned about myself. I have a job and career that depends on me and I have myself that depends on me to save money and to keep going to gym.
Im inconsistent with how productive I am, and i usually start the week really well but as soon as my emotions act up I start acting impulsively and not caring about anything and start feeling sad and upset.
What should I do?