Hi, I wanted to ask about a feeling I had last summer that I still think about.

For most of my life, I’ve felt like I had to wear a “mask” — not anything serious, just in the sense of acting a certain way socially. I had this idea of who I should be: a top student, polite, having everything planned out (probably from family expectations).

Even with my usual friends, I’m more relaxed and we have fun, but it’s more of an excited, high-energy vibe. I still feel like I’m trying to be “put together” most of the time.

Last summer, after I failed an exam, I met a new group of people. At first, I still had that “mask” on. But after spending time with them, I decided to drop it and just be myself instead of trying to be the “perfect version” of me.

When I did that, I felt something very different. It wasn’t the same excited energy I get with my usual friends. It was more like a calm, steady feeling, like I could just relax and be myself without thinking about it too much. I could say what I actually think, do random things, and just enjoy being around them.

It honestly felt like a kind of energy I could live with long-term — peaceful, real, and not forced. That experience changed how I see things. I started valuing people and connection more, instead of just focusing on work or trying to be perfect.

So I wanted to ask:

• Was that feeling mainly because I changed, or because of the people I was with?
• Is that kind of calm, “being yourself” feeling something people look for in friendships or relationships?
• And does that kind of feeling have anything to do with love, or is it something different?

TL;DR:

I usually feel like I have to wear a “social mask” and be put together, even with friends (more excited/high-energy vibe). With a new group, I dropped that and felt a calm, genuine connection for the first time. Wondering if that comes from me or them, and if that’s what people look for in relationships.