Lately I’ve been feeling scared that I might stay a virgin forever. I used to be heavily addicted to porn since I was 12, but I’ve been free from it for almost two years now.
I’m 25 and still a virgin. During this time of working on myself, I’ve had opportunities to get close to girls to make out, to take things further but I often end up fumbling it. Part of me just doesn’t want sex without real feelings. One-night stands or random hookups at clubs don’t feel right to me.
At the same time, it’s hard to find someone meaningful. I meet girls I’m physically attracted to, but personality-wise we often don’t connect. And that makes me question myself — like maybe I’m being too picky, or maybe something’s wrong with me. I don't even know it feels like im picky... but maybe im just scared of intimacy?
What I really want is love. A real connection. To be with someone who matters. But the longer it takes, the more I start worrying that I’ll end up alone like some bitter, lonely guy in his 30s.
Right now I’ve been on a two-month streak, and it’s making me feel things more intensely. The desire for closeness is stronger, but acting on it in a casual way still feels wrong. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone who feels right.
The thought of being alone honestly scares me. and yeah.. i know it shouldn't... but time is running by and im still.. welp lonely ass virgin,