Just another longtime reader, first time poster, sharing a joy -
Yall I recently turned 44 and it rules. i thought at this age i would feel despondent after my many, weird, unhelpful dating experiences as a CF lady.
But no, it’s the exact opposite. And I had no idea how excited i would feel to be wrong! Mistakes go further in the rearview. My fascination with how fun I actually am is returning (especially without all the energy leaching out into lopsided connections.) But most of all, I get the feeling that *in my next relationship, whenever that happens, I will not face the subliminal pressure, I will not be playing hide and seek with my future partner’s real views, and I will not have the mental angst of worrying my body’s decisions don’t line up with someone’s expectations.* Because my body is ready to back up what my brain and heart have been saying all along - it’s a no! It’s a big ol nope for me, and the body says amen.
I recently had a breakup (with yet another great someone I thought was clear on the CF terms…but of course, it’s always the sweetest people pleasers who didn’t say *the entire thing* just *the part they think won’t cause friction right now*) Reader: it was also the easiest breakup of my life.
The next relationship will be even more clear, because I get to live on my body’s timeline now. I’m so thankful to have the opportunity to become this age and to learn how amazing it can be.
And I’m so excited to never have to come up with “reasons” ever again - I am me. What you see is what you get. No apologies.