I (M23) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (F25) for three years.
I used to think I was completely straight, but over time I’ve realized I have some bisexual fantasies. I enjoy anal play, and I sometimes dress more feminine/femboy-ish. I’m not really attracted to masculine bodies, but I do feel attracted to dicks.
I’ve been honest with my girlfriend about this. She isn’t turned on by it, but she also hasn’t reacted very negatively.
Lately, I’ve been having a fantasy about receiving an intimate massage from a gay man. The fantasy is mostly about lying there passively with my eyes closed, not having to say or do much, and letting someone else take control. Maybe I touch him too, or even suck his dick, but there would be no penetrative sex.
I want to be clear that I would never do anything behind my girlfriend’s back. Our relationship matters more to me than this fantasy. At the same time, the desire to try it has been on my mind a lot, and I know a guy who wants to do it.
I’m afraid that if I bring it up, she’ll immediately say no or feel disgusted. I don’t want to pressure her or make her feel like she isn’t enough.