I lost my best friend and it's all my fault
This is just something I need to get of off my chest.
I had a best friend, it would have been two years just a week or two ago. In February, she lost someone dear to her and I was trying to be as good as possible to her but I said something that has been on my chest ever since.
I could probably text her, explain everything but it would feel like Im just trying to get back into her life and I don't want her to think I'm doing it because I'm lonely. Which I am. She's not gonna text me first and I know it.
She's the sweetest person alive and I've been a dick head without noticing for the longest time but I miss her everyday and even cried to my partner a few days ago about her when I was drunk. I think there is no turning back and that is something I've come to terms with because I don't think she wants me in her life anymore.
She's moved on, I've tried and couldn't. She was my highlight.
I don't know what to text her, if I even can text her. It's been months since the incident and I feel like some deadline has been surpassed. But I hope shes happy with her life, I know she is. She has so many people around her now and I'm greatful she has those people, I just wish I was apart of that life in some way.
I miss you Elizabeth, but I know youre happier now and I hope life goes well for you. I will sit here and always think about what I've done, the lies I told and what I've said because I feel I don't deserve to move on yet. I will when that time comes but until then, I will sit here.