MIL won’t directly ask me about plans for my son.
A little background, my husband (36) and I (33) have been married for 8 years. We have a son (4) and I’m 20 weeks pregnant with our second baby. My relationship with in-laws has always been strained. My MIL has never cared for me and has consistently criticized me for “stealing her son from his family” and now criticizes my parenting choices. Lately things have been better. She’s been communicating with me about things and been more kind and thoughtful towards me. I’m trying to stay guarded still because I know it could be due to the pregnancy and her wanting access to the new baby.
I am a teacher and I have an upcoming summer training. I asked my MIL to watch my son that day. I scheduled this with her a couple months ago. One of her complaints is that she doesn’t see our son enough. I asked her ,rather than my mom or a sitter, to try and help that issue. She agreed. I found out today that MIL asked my husband to get our son the day before she is scheduled to keep him. She wants to take him to SIL house for a sleepover. SIL lives over an hour away from us. I have always struggled letting our son have sleepovers. I know it stems from him being in the NICU as an infant. I have been to therapy and am improving. I still have some anxiety about leaving him overnight. He has only stayed overnight with grandparents who each live 15-20 minutes from our home. I am finally comfortable letting him do that and he has been more frequently. MIL asked my husband this question when we were at her house for a birthday meal. She specifically asked my husband when I was outside. She pulled him into the kitchen alone and asked. I don’t want to let him stay, but I feel backed into a corner because I asked her to keep him the following day. My husband is stressed because he feels trapped in the middle. Should I put my feelings aside and let him spend the night or should I ask to stick to our original plan?