u/Intelligent_Bid_7690

im not using 3.8 for anything I would imagine is even close to breaking guidlelines. but i have a chat where basically i'll talk about books and shows whatever that im interested in and keep track of them there until i get around to them

well i was talking to it just fine today and I had a couple books I wanted to ask. then out of no where it hit me with the 'prohibited content.' so i thought no biggy i'll just try again..and still no prohibited content.

now usually when this happens I can just ask what it was and change my phrasing or clarify if needed..but that is prohibited as well i guess.

its only in that chat, my others are fine, its just a bit annoying. and yes i have block none on

I just got this job at a super market near my house and they sent me a sheet of codes to memorize. and naively..i had thought it would be an easy task, but i opened the pdf to 122 codes and i was told to memorize at least 75% before training.

I'll be honest I have no idea what to do lol. im in college so learning ~91 codes while also studying and going to classes seems..hard.

not to mention I had always thought there was an easier way for this to be done..like idk have sticker codes on the produce or whatever they do.

But i want to start working ASAP so i have to get started somehow

Its been going on for about 3-4 months..which..yikes Im forcing myself to bring it up to my psych because i didnt at our meeting 3 months ago and now i ACTUALLY notice it. i was diagnosed last year so I really have only my biggest mania and depressive episodes to go off of..this is not that.

for months I have spent all of my waking time writing. all of it. sunday I wrote for 14 hours, yestarday i wrote for 10 (the other 3 were no doubt from me watching spiderman again at the movies). but genuinely for months i average 10-15 hours a day writing, and i can see it exactly because I write on my computer.

I dont go out, im way behind on my chores, I get a little anxious when im not writing. i might watch a show or movie that i think might help my writing, but i can only get through 10 minutes before writing again. and i need to do it while eating.

ive never been med uncompliant. but i feel it creeping up. I know i have a problem and I dont want to tell my psych because we were skirting by (what i thought was fine), just doing 100mg of lamictal a day. i still take my medicine..but im starting not to want to and I definitely dont want an increase..which is part of what makes me not want to tell him about it..i might/will..but i really dont want to

Is anyone experiencing their illness being used as a leash?

I am newly 20 years old, still living my my parents (obviously, this job market sucks). but i was asking my mom about a hair color i was wanting to get, a color i had been debating for about two years by the way.

she told me no because she thinks its my 'illness' making me want to color my hair. her 'evidence' being that i went to have my hair cut last year and now only wear it in a ponytail instead of a real hairstyle. yall..first i will admit that i am not some hairstyling savant. I will curl it for events but no i am not frying my hair everyday.

but somehow the conversation turned into how i dont clean my room (i do, but the cleanliness of my room fluctuates with my mood as im sure a lot of us can relate to.), how i am not a go getter: she stated how the effort i put into projects is inconsistent. which i again i will admit too as it fluctuates with my mood. and while i do have my main projects and passions that ive stuck to for years, it can look like im not consistent because when hypomanic, manic, or recovering from a depression i can start and stop a lot of little ones.

yeah i have a loud illness, whatever. who i am is still a through line though and it hurts when..anything creative that i want to do is immediately written off

I have a lot of problem with my parents holding this sentiment. it makes me feel incredibly lazy and incompetent.

im 20F, i took off winter semester due to the most severe depressive episode ive ever had. i was literally half a step away from an attempt. not to mention i totally flunked fall semester because I just stopped attending classes. I havent been on campus since november of last year.

I plan on returning in the fall. I was an honor student at my college with a gpa on 3.7. I think its kind to myself and perfectly ok for me to just baseline pass my classes. the goal isnt to excel and go above and beyond, the goal is to preserve my sanity and rebuild my relationship with academia.

my parents however talk about my time off as if ive been taking it easy, as if i've had no worries. that just isnt the case. ive been high high stress since my diagnosis in june of last year. I dont feel recovered, no im not depressed anymore. at least not as depressed as i was, but you can not 'recover' forever.

yeah i didnt have any real responsibilities on my time off but I was still fighting for my life. im fighting against my mind everyday and im tired of being treated like a 'pet'

i'll just say i think i am pretty stable. I mean ofc im not perfect, we all know bipolar stable is..different than a neurotypical stable. but i have found myself not wanting to be on meds anymore. I think i've been having just a bit of emotional numbing.

now what frustrates me is when people say 'thats just stability' but there has to be another way to help people who experience this. because i dont think its fair to take someone who's been feeling emotions on full volume for their whole life and suddenly turn the volume to like 25 and telling them to just accept it because 'its normal'

now i am not in seek of having episodes or being manic again. not at all. but my high emotions were my motivation to do things: to learn, to create art, to do things for myself.

y'all last year i had my first manic episode. somehow i ended up spending $7,000 on a salary of $12.45/hr. i'll tell you still to this day i have no idea wtf i bought. like i know i bought some tarot readings, i bought cards, doordash etc.

but specifically i have the ugliest pair of gold shoe's because i thought they were lucky and they would help me become a rockstar (i dont know how to sing or play guitar). nobody will buy them off me. ofc.

in honor of useless manic purchases tell me some of yours

Ive been spotty with therapy through out my life. ive done it maybe three times for short bursts. but the small bursts I had, i found unfulfilling.

It seems like im paying to just go recount my days and feelings to some person who just nods blankly. personally i have a journal and its free, lol.

i havent learned anything about myself in therapy, i havent been called out, i havent learned names for certain behaviors. im thinking of starting back up but im worried about it being a waste of time.

So it’s the summer and I’ve been going alllll over the country with my parents. We were in Orlando for a week for my fathers conference. Then immediately after that (this week) we’ve been in Denver Colorado for a week. And now in a couple hours we’re flying home to immediately get on a plane to Washington for..a week.

Now I’ve noticed some some depression before back in June but now I’ve had like reaaaaally low level s ideation. But I can’t back out of the trip coming up because my mom bought the ticket already. Like there’s no time to even go home between flights

im wondering if this has happened for anyone else. I use deepseek sometimes to think through different ideas while studying. it used to give me these pretty long and thorough responses that would spark me into further thinking but lately its just been super short and its getting a bit annoying trying to get it to be longer.

As the title says.

in a couple years I plan to move out on my own after finishing college and I am looking for a dog breed that would be good to be my companion as I go out into the world.

Now the two breeds I have already been looking at are German Shepherds, Cane Corso's, or a Mastiff.

I understand all of these dogs need lots of training and mental stimulation. I am ready to provide all of these. I have 15 years of animal training experience: mostly with horses and australian cattle dogs. However I am also prepared to hire the help of a trainer if I find myself over my head. but my main objective is to make sure the wellbeing of the dog, other people, and myself are intact.

with that being said I am planning to move to Philadelphia and would love to hear your breed recommendations as I search and prepare for a new buddy :)

Thank you!

I am literally buzzing. im on vacation in Florida and its messed up with my sleep. im traveling with my parents, sleeping on a futon, my mom cant sleep without the tv really loud, they talk late into the night..im staying up realllyyyy late.

for the past year ive been on recovery and guess what? im just..not recovered at all! ive been depressed for months, nothing dangerous at all but more so apathy and being stationary. I woke up today and planned the rest of my life out, planned out how much money i needed to get started, applied to a bunch of jobs. if it werent for my mom I would have applied for 2 weeks of election work (hours 6 am-10 pm)

But it just sucks that..every time i want to fix my life i ruin it..i just feel like i cant win. it doesnt help that my mom looks at me and says 'so youre just going to sit on our couch until youre 50?'

guys..i literally just turned twenty just seventeen days ago

I recently saw Lil Nas X made a story about his bipolar diagnosis as well as his rehab and the positive change medication has brought to him. He said that he is working on new music to come.

when the video of him came out (him strolling around in cowboy boots and his underwear), I had suspected a manic episode. not strongly of course, im not psychic, but I could see parallels to his behavior and how euphoric mania can be.

however the number one thing I felt was sympathy, since most comments were making fun of the situation. I suspect because from an unknowing perspectives it looks like drugs, and euphoria is seen as an overall positive feeling when people dont realize how torturous it can feel. it is exhausting.

all in all he looked very much well in his story and im glad to see he got help! but i hope this can be an encouragement and reminder..stay on meds! get on meds! the right combo will not stop you from being productive and creating, it will allow you to do more of what you love

So i am on vacation in Florida with my parents (well really just my mom, my dad is working). but I am in a depressive episode, and on top of that I usually am just more of an introvert. but where as I wouldnt mind going out and going on walks etc..I really just want to stay in, eat my comfort food (i got some uncrustables lol), and watch my comfort show. I have some books i brought too.

My mom is the opposite, she wants to go out to the library and the park..find music etc. which is fine and all its just..when im depressed it can be..impossible to do those things. she also has a habit of guilting me into doing things when im depressed and i just end up miserable.

im 20, so its not like I HAVE to go anywhere. we could split up just fine it just seems like I am crucial to her being able to enjoy the stay. but for me to be comfortable..as comfortable as I can be..I just want to be on my own and basically doing nothing.

Update: not dangerous but I feel my depression worsening. At first from the outside I just looked really lazy. but now im feeling the persistent sadness and hopelessness. im going to be here until saturday night and i dont really know what to do..

So i am on vacation in Florida with my parents (well really just my mom, my dad is working). but I am in a depressive episode, and on top of that I usually am just more of an introvert. but where as I wouldnt mind going out and going on walks etc..I really just want to stay in, eat my comfort food (i got some uncrustables lol), and watch my comfort show. I have some books i brought too.

My mom is the opposite, she wants to go out to the library and the park..find music etc. which is fine and all its just..when im depressed it can be..impossible to do those things. she also has a habit of guilting me into doing things when im depressed and i just end up miserable.

im 20, so its not like I HAVE to go anywhere. we could split up just fine it just seems like I am crucial to her being able to enjoy the stay. but for me to be comfortable..as comfortable as I can be..I just want to be on my own and basically doing nothing.

https://preview.redd.it/t4j6hu73j87h1.png?width=670&format=png&auto=webp&s=eda6e5e64d721730ef99b1af3fd755382130fcd6

I have not done a protective style (one that requires fake hair like box braids) in two years since I realized the weight was actually stretching my hair out. not to mention i just do not have the patience for such a long take down lol.

however I do keep seeing these jumbo twists and they look so cute, and lower tension than braids.

Has anyone gotten these? I've never put hair in my own head..but am i wrong to assume this would be something easy I can do at home? Im curious as to whether it was actually a protective protective style, how long it lasts, etc

Im 20F with bipolar 1 and psychotic features. I know it may sound immature because I still have so much time to get it figured out. before getting diagnosed I had a bunch of friends, acquaintances..I was the captain of my schools varsity equestrian team, I went to college early (also sophamore year), and I graduated high school as a junior in college and a college gpa of 3.7 and a high school gpa of 3.56. I wasnt popular by any means, I was still an introvert. but something I took for granted was all the attention and admirers I got from my ability then to be a generally funny and pleasant person

All of that to say, just before me 19th birthday I had a 2 month long mixed psychotic episode that lead to my diagnosis. following that I had a bunch of mini hypomanic and mini depressive episodes before dipping into a full on 4 month life threatening (i dont want to get censored) depressive episode.

that being said, its been over a year since my world has narrowed. fall semester I skipped 3 months of classes because of my depression, and I took winter semester off to recover.

that brings me to now..I find it hard to shower, I find it hard to brush my teeth, I find it hard to do my hair, self study things i am interested in, draw..literally anything. something in my brain has been fundamentally changed.

people who knew me before expect me to be like who i was before. I cant, and I dont think i can be. and I know that isnt necessarily a bad thing, it just means I have to find myself again and come into myself..but i dont feel like im allowed to without losing everyone.

but i want to feel good about myself again, and confident too. I used to take care of myself and find myself pretty. Im not depressed, im just socially confined. I want to be young, and I am young. im just not the young people want me to be.

So i am bipolar one and I was just answering a question about mania and psychosis. previously I had though there wasnt such a hard barrier between bipolar 1 and 2. as in I thought, for example, if you left bipolar 2 untreated it could get worse and worse and turn into bipolar 1.

however actually searching it up that isnt the case as 5%-7% of people with bipolar 2 are updated to bipolar 1. and that seems to be mostly from misdiagnosis.

so is it a matter of difference in neuropathways? like are bipolar 2 people just wired to have worse + longer depressive episode than their hypomania? or is it the same as with bipolar one, the higher you go up the harder you fall down?