My 22 yr old child has gone through several stages of self-discovery over the years—first identifying as a furry, then as bisexual, and later as gay. We supported and celebrated them every step of the way. Last year, they graduated from college, but around that time they became distant and cold toward me. When I tried to understand what was wrong, they couldn’t explain it.
Then, after their younger brother passed away, they came home, and their husband shared that they had been struggling with their gender identity. He suggested that this might be why they had pulled away and hadn’t been in touch.
I’m left confused and hurt. I don’t understand why they seem to hate me now. They won’t talk to me at all, and they can’t—or won’t—explain why.
Recently, I went to a drag brunch. One of the performers let me hug her and I shared a bit of what’s been happening. She hugged me tighter and said, “Yeah, that happens.”
I’ve been thinking about that ever since. What do you think she meant? Is it common, when someone is figuring out and accepting that they’re transgender, to distance themselves—even from the people who have supported and loved them the most?