Finances are impossible and I’m freaking out
I want to become good with finances. Like I really, really want to be good at budgeting. I’ve taken classes on budgeting. I’ve studied the 50-30-20 method. I’ve written out plans.
I can’t seem to get it under control. I impulsively spend. Bad. Then I get really guilty. Then I justify it to myself by buying a gift for someone that’s just as pricey and dig myself in deeper. I keep saying I’ll learn from my mistakes. But I don’t.
I want to be financially independent. I make enough money to where that shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t pay that much in bills. I should be shaving for a car, not buying a cute sundress and then a collectible for someone else because I feel bad for buying something for myself. I’m just at a loss, and I’m hoping that fellow people with BPD might be able to help.