I don't know if what I feel towards my MIL is right or not.
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As a context, we live in Canada. My MIL lives in other country.
Every year, she has to stay in the US for a month to keep receiving her pension, otherwise it will stop.
So she visited and stayed at her step son's place in the US. Since she's there, we invited her to stay at our place for a couple of months since the flight distance is closer and cheaper airfare so might as well take advantage.
On the day of my labor, my husband and I went to the hospital and she stayed home.
I had a c-section after a failed induction and had a huge swelling on my feet and everywhere.
My sister offered to fetch my MIL from home so she come visit us at the hospital and she declined but after my husband convinced her, she came to visit. My husband asked if she wanted to sit on down so she hold baby so they can take a picture and she said "I don't like. I'm scared".
The negative feelings I have towards MIL started here. My own mom would have been so excited at the thought of seeing her grandson for the first time but I feel like my MIL showed no excitement.
We spent 1 more day at the hospital after that and when we got home, there was no food so we had to order take out. I initially thought, why would she not think of cooking when she knew we were coming home from the hospital. She has Canadian dollars and the grocery store is just across the street.
On the next day, my husband & MIL went to grocery shop so I requested them to shop ingredients for a chicken soup.
At this point, my swelling was getting worse, my legs, whole body were puffy. I can't even put on my own undies, and it was hard for me to walk or get up from bed/couch.
When they got home, they unloaded the groceries. Later that day, while I was breastfeeding my baby on the couch when my MIL asked asked my husband if I will be the one to cook the chicken soup to which my husband replied it should be her. I was right there but she didn't ask me directly. I was shocked that she even have to ask if I'm the one cooking when she can see my condition.
She then asked how much of vegetables she put and how much of this and that. I looked at my husband and we both seemed confused since she knows how to cook better than me and she very well know the dish, just boil everything together. I said "the normal amount". The way she responded sounded like she's irritated but she did eventually cook it.
A week had gone and it was MIL's birthday and still, she had not held baby even once. She just looks at him, she said she's scared that she might trip and drop baby. My husband insisted that he hold baby but she refuses. I added at least hold baby even for a minute for a picture taking while sitting down if she's scared of dropping baby. I made it sound like "he's your first grandson and you don't even have a picture together " And so she did hold baby, for a minute.
This whole thing made me feel negatively towards her. Whenever I look at her, I feel disgust.
Although she helped me up from the couch before when I needed help and husband was unable, and she now entertains baby, talks about him fondly with her siblings, & cooks sometimes, I think I won't ever forget how she behaved towards me and baby right after birth.
I know she is doing a bit more now, but the damage feels done. How do I get past this disgust. Am I overreacting, or is this resentment normal?