The title kind of speaks for itself but I am wondering how I can be a better friend
For as long as I can remember, ive always been jealous of people im close with and yeah that is pretty horrible. When I was a child I never hid it, I never would explicitly say I was jealous but it was heavily implied. I know its an ego thing, I always want to be better than people and notice that subconsciously I feel like im intellectually superior, wanting to have better grades or be better rhan something than my friends even though I know im not
Additionally, I kind of hate connecting people too
Recently, ive been trying to be a better person, im working on being better by being happy for my friends rather than being jealous but I feel like deep down inside I know nothing is changing but I dont want the people im around to have a friend who is jealous of them and rather a friend they can come to about anything like i genuinely want to improve
Please help