After years of blaming myself, finally I've come to conclusion that I'm a CEN survivor. My mother is a teacher, always have been strict and stoic. Now 19 years old, I get an emotional breakdown seeing some women (who are supposedly gracefully and carry a motherly vibe) yet I'm so awkward and shy, I'm hyper vigilant.. I can't ask them for help. There's a deep desire of me to weep on someone's lap.. idk why, if I don't resist my feelings for those females, this is the visual that come out, yet I'm too awkward to ask that person for it, because mostly they're strangers or even elder sister or mother in law, but I'm too scared to show that I want to cry.
Is it long? Well, my dob is 23 apr 2007 10.58pm dhing Assam, male.
For some days this has been bothering me alot. I really want someone like a mother to hold me just for once.. what should I do? I don't want to go for any tharepy. Been weeping alone for many days. At some point it's frustrating, that I got my emotional patterns destroyed because of an explosive mother.. now if I go by this, I might end up in some toxic relationship where I'm too dependent on the spouse trying to grab a meternal warmth from her..
There are many more things I'd have loved to share. But I'm just trying follow the rules and keeping it short enough maybe..
Don't want to fall as strong astrology believer but, last resort I guess