My Relationship Story — Complete Timeline, My Thoughts, Her Actions, and Why I Am Mentally Broken

TL;DR: My relationship started on 28 November 2022 and lasted around 3.5 years. During the first year, our relationship was full of love, affection, emotional bonding, attachment, excitement, and happiness. We constantly talked, learned about each other, cared deeply for one another, and everything felt genuine and pure. I truly loved her deeply and always imagined my future with her as my wife.

As time passed into the second year, my behavior slowly became more possessive and overprotective. I started overthinking a lot. I repeatedly asked:

• where she was going,
• with whom,
• details about the place,
• route,
• location,
• and I often called her repeatedly.

I also frequently asked for moody calls and physical intimacy even when she often did not feel comfortable with it. From my side, my intention was never to leave her or replace her. My mindset was always:

“No matter what happens, she is my future wife.”

Even if my behavior sometimes became toxic, controlling, insecure, or emotionally overwhelming, my emotional intention toward her always remained permanent and serious.

But from her side, she slowly became emotionally exhausted. She felt:

• emotionally pressured,
• controlled,
• mentally drained,
• emotionally neglected,
• and unable to breathe freely inside the relationship.

Then during the third year, I became serious about preparing for government job exams. Because of that, I intentionally created some communication and emotional distance so I could fully focus on my career preparation. My emotional care reduced compared to before, but sometimes I still contacted her mainly for moody calls or physical closeness.

From my side, I believed:

“I am sacrificing temporary romance for our future.”

But from her side, she slowly started feeling:

“He only comes to me for physical needs now.”

This communication gap slowly damaged our emotional connection. Fights increased. She started saying “leave me” after many arguments. According to her, from the third year itself her love slowly reduced because of:

• my overthinking,
• possessiveness,
• repeated physical intimacy meets,
• emotional neglect,
• and the growing communication gap.

Even though we fought many times and had several “break-up type” situations after fights, we never completely ended the relationship. We still talked every month and stayed emotionally connected in some form throughout 2024 and into 2025.

Then around January 30, 2026, we had a major fight. During that emotionally weak phase, a boy from her office entered her life emotionally.

According to her, this office boy:

• emotionally supported her,
• spoke softly,
• listened to her,
• comforted her emotionally,
• and slowly became emotionally close to her.

She later admitted that even at that time she knew:

“What I was doing was wrong.”

But she still continued because she believed he was emotionally safer and a better person than me during that phase.

This is one of the biggest things destroying me mentally.

Because if she already knew it was wrong, then how can she later say:

• “I was confused,”
• “I did not know what was happening,”
• “I did not know why I continued.”

To me, her actions did not look unconscious or accidental.

She:

• trusted him,
• defended him,
• emotionally reassured him,
• emotionally invested in him,
• and seriously considered him emotionally.

That is why I cannot emotionally believe this was “just confusion” or “just flow.”

She started talking to him regularly. He used to drop her home after office on his bike. Initially, she completely hid all of this from me.

Then on 4 February 2026, they went alone together to a late-night movie.

According to the final truth I discovered later:

• they held hands,
• he first kissed her on the cheek,
• she returned the cheek kiss,
• then he kissed her on the lips,
• and she did not strongly stop or avoid it.

Initially, when I questioned her later, she lied many times and minimized everything. She told me:

• the kiss was forced,
• she pushed him away,
• it was only a sudden lip touch,
• there were no cheek kisses,
• they only said they “liked each other,”
• they never said “I love you,”
• and they never met outside the movie.

But later, after I forced her to call him on speaker in front of me, the boy revealed the full story himself.

He said:

• they both liked each other,
• she told “I love you” first,
• they exchanged kiss emojis,
• they went to HiTech City for ice cream after office,
• she returned his cheek kiss,
• she did not resist the lip kiss,
• and they emotionally behaved like a couple.

What completely shattered me was not only the physical part.

It was the emotional part.

In screenshots and chats, she defended him even after colleagues warned her about his affairs. Before knowing his affairs were real, she trusted him deeply and emotionally defended him.

She told him:

• “Don’t leave me.”
• “I completely trust you.”
• “I broke my relationship and thought hundred times before staying with you.”( our relationship but it wa sour break-up type situations after fights, we never completely ended the relationship since start)

That line completely destroyed me mentally because it clearly referred to me.

To me, that line meant:

• she mentally prepared herself to leave me,
• emotionally evaluated him seriously,
• and consciously considered a future with him.

That is why I cannot emotionally accept explanations like:

• “It was just confusion.”
• “It was just a mistake.”
• “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Because her trust, reassurance, emotional defense, and emotional investment toward him looked very intentional.

Later she discovered through office colleagues that:

• he had multiple affairs,
• around seven previous relationships,
• and he was still talking to other girls while talking to her.

After learning all this, she realized she made a wrong decision and slowly stopped talking to him and blocked him.

But the biggest problem is:

She never told me any of this herself.

Even after:

• emotionally involving herself with him,
• saying “I love you,”
• going to a movie,
• kissing him,
• emotionally considering him,
• and thinking about leaving me,

she still continued talking to me normally.

On 8 February ( Feb 4th they went movie and she stopped talking i didnt know at that time all these happend without knowing), I sent her a Valentine’s gift. She accepted it, sent snaps with flowers, acted lovingly, and never told me anything.

In March and April, our relationship became emotionally and physically close again. We bonded emotionally again. We became physically involved again. We even decided to stay together in a live-in relationship.

On 19 April 2026, we shifted into a room together for a live-in relationship.

But on the SAME DAY before shifting, she called him because he messaged her asking to talk about his affairs and mistakes. She spoke to him on WhatsApp call for more than one hour.

According to her:

• he admitted his affairs,
• apologized,
• and she only listened.

But to me, the fact that she was still talking to him while entering a live-in relationship with me hurt me deeply.

What was the need to listen to his affairs for more than one hour when she had already realized they were real?

We stayed together normally in live-in. We were emotionally and physically close. I never felt she was hiding something this huge.

Then on 17 May 2026, we met again, drank alcohol together, and she slept.

While she was sleeping drunk, I checked her phone and logged into her WhatsApp through dual apps. That is when I saw:

• call history,
• blocked contacts,
• and evidence related to the office boy.

If she had not slept drunk that day, and if I had not checked her phone, I probably would never have known any of this.

That thought destroys me mentally because:
everything remained hidden until I discovered it myself.

That night I panicked badly and started questioning her continuously.

Initially she denied everything:

• denied emotional involvement,
• denied meetings,
• denied relationship,
• denied kisses,
• denied “I love you,”
• denied phone calls.

Only after continuous pressure and threats to contact him and expose him did she slowly start revealing partial truths.

Even then, she kept minimizing things:

• saying the lip kiss was forced,
• saying she forgot about cheek kisses,
• saying HiTech City ice cream was casual,
• saying she forgot details.

Finally, after the speaker call with him, the full story came out.

At that moment, I became emotionally shattered and extremely angry. I slapped her multiple times after realizing:

• how much was hidden,
• how many lies were told,
• and how deeply she emotionally invested in another person while still staying connected with me.

The thing hurting me most psychologically is this:

If she truly wanted another person and emotionally considered leaving me, then she should have:

• completely broken up with me,
• stopped talking to me,
• blocked me,
• and clearly told me she wanted someone else.

If she had honestly told me:

“I am emotionally talking to another person and trying to move on,”

then I would have emotionally prepared myself for the breakup from the beginning.

Instead, what happened feels like:

• she emotionally kept me alive,
• emotionally tested another man secretly,
• and if he turned out good, maybe she would have completely left me later.

That thought keeps haunting me:

“What if he was actually loyal and good?”

Because her own words showed:

• deep trust in him,
• emotional reassurance,
• emotional defense,
• and serious consideration of a future with him.

Even now when I ask her:

“What would have happened if he turned out good?”

she cannot clearly answer.

Sometimes she says:

• maybe she could have moved on,
• maybe guilt would bring her back,
• maybe she does not know,
• maybe she was confused.

But to me, her actions looked much stronger than confusion.

That is why forgiveness feels impossible to me right now.

From my side, even though I had many flaws:

• possessiveness,
• overthinking,
• intimacy meets,
• insecurity,
• anger,
• toxic behavior,

my emotional intention always remained fixed:

“No matter what happens, she is my future.”

Even if I ever thought about physical needs elsewhere, emotionally my future remained only with her. I never emotionally imagined replacing her with another woman.

That is why her emotional involvement with another man hurts me much more deeply than anything physical.

What destroys me mentally is not only:

• the kiss,
• the lies,
• the movie,
• or the chats.

What destroys me most is the feeling that:

while I saw her as permanent no matter what,
she emotionally reached a point where she seriously considered another future without me.

What I want from viewers is honest advice and clarification on my confusion. I want people to think from their own perspective and tell me how I should understand and forgive this situation based on her words and actions.

What she says now is:

• “What I did was unintentional.”
• “I did not go to the movie expecting a lip kiss.”
• “I did not know what I was doing.”
• “I did not know about him properly.”
• “It was just a flow.”
• “It just happened and later I realized my mistake and came back.”

But when I saw the chats, it looked completely different to me.

She:

• fully trusted him,
• defended him,
• emotionally invested in him,
• and reassured him deeply.

She confidently told him things like:

• “I broke my past relationship and thought hundred times before staying with you.”
• “I trust you.”
• “Take care of me.”
• “I will wait for you.”
• “I won’t get bored of you.”

If she truly did not want these things, then why did she go alone with another boy to a late-night movie while already being in a relationship?

If a boy and girl who emotionally like each other go alone to a late-night movie, physical intimacy like:

• holding hands,
• touching,
• or kissing,

is obviously possible.

She already knew this.

Then why did she still choose to go and later say things “just happened”?

When I asked her step-by-step:

• Did you feel wrong while first replying to him?
• While talking to him?
• While climbing on his bike?
• While going to the movie?
• While holding hands?

She said:

“Yes, every time I felt it was wrong, but at that time I liked him, so I still did it.”

This is what confuses me the most.

If she already knew every step was wrong and still consciously continued because she liked him, then how can it later become:

• “I didn’t know what I was doing,”
• or “It was just a flow”?

Her chats, trust, reassurance, emotional investment, and defending him all look very conscious and intentional to me, not unconscious or accidental.

What hurts me even more is that she emotionally kept me alive at the same time.

She:

• still talked to me,
• stayed emotionally connected to me,
• accepted my love,
• and never honestly told me what was happening.

I feel like for some period of time, her intention became being with him even though she knew it was wrong toward me.

That is why I feel like I was emotionally kept as a backup while she emotionally tried another future.

Now she says:

• “I made a huge mistake which I cannot properly explain because it was unintentional.”
• “I want to die because of this mistake.”
• “This mistake is not even forgivable.”
• “This will haunt me my whole life.”
• “I’m leaving you because of this mistake.”

She is also saying that during February, March, and April, while she was still talking normally with me, she was secretly suffering mentally.

She says:

• she cried many times alone,
• she could not sleep properly,
• she sat alone in temples crying,
• she carried guilt internally the whole time,
• and only God knows how much she suffered mentally.

But this is another thing I cannot understand.

Even after all this happened:

• we talked normally,
• we met,
• we became physically close,
• we stayed in a live-in relationship,
• she looked loving with me,
• she behaved normally,
• she smiled,
• she slept peacefully beside me,

and I never saw even a small visible sign of guilt, fear, sadness, depression, or emotional breakdown in her face, eyes, behavior, or words.

Even during the long confrontation after I discovered everything, for hours she barely cried.

I was emotionally breaking down, shouting, questioning, and collapsing mentally, but I still could not properly see tears from her eyes.

I even asked her:

“You can’t even cry? Not even tears are coming from your eyes?”

But only at the final moment, when we were about to leave, she suddenly cried deeply and started saying all these things about:

• guilt,
• trauma,
• sleepless nights,
• temples,
• suffering,
• and wanting to die because of her mistake.

That is why now I am mentally confused between two possibilities:

• Was she genuinely internally suffering and hiding everything all this time? OR
• Is her emotional crying now just guilt after getting caught? OR
• Was she acting normally all these months while actually emotionally choosing another future?

I genuinely cannot understand anymore:

• what was real,
• what was guilt,
• what was intentional,
• what was confusion,
• and what is forgivable.

The Thing I Still Cannot Emotionally Understand

She says - YOU ARE ONE OF THE REASON FOR ME DOING THIS YOU DID NOT TAKE CARE OF ME WELL THAT WHY THIS HAPPEND IF U HAVE TAKEN CARE I WOULDN'T DO THESE

According to her:

• my absence of emotional support during 2023–24,
• repeated mood calls and intimacy,
• overthinking,
• overprotectiveness,
• questioning,
• and constantly asking too many details about:
  • where she goes,
  • with whom,
  • routes,
  • locations,
  • and the personalities of people around her,

made her emotionally exhausted and slowly pushed her toward another man.

From her perspective, she says:

• “Why do you want to know every person I go with?”
• “Why do you ask so many details?”
• “Why do you speak rudely sometimes?”
• “Why do you overcare to this level?”

She says she felt controlled and emotionally pressured.

But from my side, I always believed I was doing those things because I deeply cared about:

• her safety,
• her surroundings,
• and the people around her life.

I wanted to know who she was with because I was emotionally attached and protective toward her, not because I wanted to replace her or leave her.

What breaks me mentally is this:

Even though:

• her reactions to my overcare,
• emotional distance,
• communication gaps,
• rejection of my physical needs,
• repeated fights,
• and “leave me” situations,

could also have emotionally pushed me toward trying another girl or completely leaving her…

I still never emotionally chose another future over her.

No matter how frustrated, emotionally hurt, insecure, or mentally exhausted I became, my intention still remained:

“No matter what happens, she is my future.”

Even if she stopped talking properly for months, even if we had emotional distance for long periods, I still emotionally stayed attached to her.

I never emotionally gave another girl a “trial” to see whether someone else could replace her emotionally.

That is why I cannot process hearing:

“Your behavior made me go toward another man. You are one of the reasons for this.”

Because from my perspective, emotional pain and dissatisfaction never made me emotionally replace her or seriously imagine another future while still keeping her emotionally connected to me.

And now I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore So I genuinely want outside perspectives:

• Does this honestly look unintentional?
• Was this emotional cheating conscious or unconscious?
• Can someone knowingly continue wrong step-by-step and still later say they were “just in a flow”?
• Can someone cry and suffer internally without showing visible guilt externally for months?
• Is this forgivable?
• And if you were in my place, how would you understand this situation?
• Was my behavior truly enough to emotionally push someone toward another person?
• Or was her emotional attachment toward me already weak enough that another emotionally supportive person could temporarily replace me?
• Can someone truly love you deeply and still emotionally drift toward someone else because of emotional exhaustion?
• Or does emotionally trying another person already mean the love changed completely?

Now, after understanding everything, the thought destroying me mentally is this:

I feel like I was slowly about to be emotionally replaced and abandoned, but that future stopped only because he eventually broke her trust.

That confusion is what is destroying me mentally now.