Since I went NC with JNMIL shortly after birth of my youngest, my 1 year old has only received gifts from that side of the family twice.
Once was 3-4 months ago, a belated Christmas gift from her which was sent back with my SO after he had to go talk with his mom about family business. I did react like “oh so we’re accepting gifts ? Well.. ok…” it was already done and it was something the baby would enjoy so I thought, whatever. Still no attempts to reach out or apologize from JNMIL. Not that I could really ever take it as genuine anyway.
The other gift was a couple of small baby toys that seem to be from SO’s sister (both sisters are following their moms lead, even though I never blocked them or told them I had a problem with either of them), they were included in gifts for SO’s oldest son (from ex who is totally enmeshed in the toxic family still and talks badly about SO to their son- so he still sees that side of the family often and receives many gifts on holidays or whenever), wrapped identically but labeled From: sister To: SO’s name. How weird right? SO says they didn’t even tell him they included gifts for the baby. His son must have opened his gifts in the back of his car and just left the baby things because they were found later still slightly wrapped.
I have to wonder what is going on in that sisters head. Maybe she felt guilty for not giving baby anything on Christmas or birthday and this is a way to give something without JNMIL noticing? I’d reach out to tell this sister thank you but out of the 2 she actually has been the one who triangulates for JNMIL and backs her up the most eagerly. She’s a minime, in so many ways, acts just like her. And then I think, maybe it’s just a trap, it’s a lure. I try not to think about it too much, they don’t deserve all that mental energy. I just know I can’t trust them.