How do I improve myself as a person ?
So I ( 21F ) just came to a realisation that I am super exhausting to talk to, narcissistic, arrogant and self centred without caring about others feelings. This is not something that I do consciously or had any idea that I am doing until today.
I did know that I am someone who is bad at expressing and understanding the emotions I am going through, that I have extreme procrastination issues and that I am always looking towards my past achievements ( which doesn't amount to anything ) to look down on others and substantiate my future actions.
The worst thing is that I believe I am quite cordial towards people I am not close with but as soon as it comes to people I am 'close' with I am told ( by my younger sister and she is a reliable source ) that I treat them as pets, disappointments, pests or like they are someone who are incapable of making their own decisions.
I truly don't have any ill thoughts about all the people I am 'close' with, contrarily I am indifferent to most of them. So I have no idea why I am behaving exactly like what I never wanted to be.
P.S:- Any and all advice is appreciated and I am not 100% sure that I will visit a therapist as soon as I have enough money and I am able to find one.