I'm depressed after starting to date someone incredible because I wish I had his life.
Somehow the most funny intelligent social stylish lovely hot little gay guy fell in love with me, and instead of enjoying and riding the high, I fell into a depression due to comparing my muted life with his colourful one. I don't have a good relationship with my parents, he does, I don't have a lot of friends, he does, I don't have any hobbies, he does, he's the most charming person I ever knew and I think he fell in love with me because of shallow silly characteristics of mine and it's only a matter of time before he finds out and gets bored. I feel like he has a substantial past full of adventures and love, while I do have some crazy stories I think I already ran out of them. I feel like I never lived the "right way" when I compare my story with his. He's not afraid of intimacy like I am, even with his friends. I always compartimentalyzed relashionships, while for him it's natural to even have sex with his friends sometimes, which I kind of admire and envy. I'm seriously thinking of starting to take antidepressants to see if my mood lifts up and I start to build back at least a bit of self confidence to get out of this hole of thoughts and see if I can go back to the silly little oblivious me version I was when I met him. Is it a good idea?