u/InterstellarStew

This girl was crazy about me and perfect for me and told me that she loved me first actually and things were going so amazing that my anxious attachment style kicked in because I have never felt like I had so much to lose, and I pushed her away through insecurity of always seeking reassurance and later I caused arguments and fights because of it that eventually was our demise. They were completely cold and dismissive after they finally decided to break up and then my father died a week later and they were still just very unsupportive and didn’t seem like they cared much anymore but right before all of this she was so loving and she did not fear, intimacy or commitment and like I said, she told me she loved me first so I don’t believe that she is avoidant or maybe some sort of avoidant side kicked in. I’m not really sure but I just wanna know why she is so cold and seems so OK while I am fighting for my life internally battling

28M. I just need some support. I’m scared I will never recover from this break up. It’s been 6 weeks. The worse hell I’ve ever felt. This girl was I felt so perfect for me, and because of that it gave me this feeling that I’ve never had so much to lose, which made me fear loosing them so bad that my anxious attachment kicked into hyperdrive, and I slowly pushed them away with anxiety, which turned into arguments and fights that were ultimately started by me, but truly never my intention. I practically turned them against me and they left, then my dad died a week later and they were still so distant when the month before they were my ride or die. Im feel so hopeless and see no excited or beauty and life anymore. I lost my full identity. I just am so lost and scared and devastated. And they’re fine cause they processed it before that actually left. When I was 20 and my first love and I broke up it took me like 6 years to stop thinking about them. I loved this girl they left me recently 10x more. I’m worried that I’ll be depressed for life. Or even still want them deep down if I meet someone else eventually. I’m spiraling and just need some support. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin in tears.