Lack of empathy and expressing that
I have this weird relationship with empathy. I feel it for animals and even characters in media but I feel almost none for real people. Unless it directly negatively affects me, the loss of human life means nothing to me. I have become almost completely desensitised to gore which is disturbing. It used to make me go all light headed and sometimes induce a panic attack but now I have no reaction. Tbh I think the main thing stopping me from hurting someone is my social anxiety and intense fear of getting in trouble but I feel like I am becoming more and more confident and less bound to those restraints.
Also any tips on how to express these issues to my friends and others without sounding sociopathic or getting made fun of or something. I mentioned my intense hatred of saliva to the other autistic guy in my class and he immediately began to froth at the lips and threaten to spit on me(no exaggeration but I might actually kill him or at least try). I don’t think my friends will hate me they will just make fun of me (no, I am not finding new friends, these are the best there is in my grade)
Also unrelated completely but I hate the autistim creature. Seeing it’s pathetic fucking face is what led to this rant it pisses me off