Emotional abuser looking for a mental health version of AA
I (41M) have been married for 16 years to my wife (41F). And I am emotionally abusive, primarily through defensiveness.
Recently, I was introduced to the concept to look at
defensiveness through the lens of substance abuse and it really opened my eyes, to the pain that I’m causing, and how by suppressing my anger has lead to resentment, which causes defensiveness - and ultimately abuse.
But here is the thing - if I were drinking or doing drugs, there are clear support groups for those who want to break their cycle and heal. However, I can’t find the equivalent outside of mental health groups. I have nothing but respect for those groups, but their focus - rightfully so - is on helping people with challenges like depression, anxiety etc. where I don’t feel comfortable sharing.
So I’m turning to Reddit. I want to hold myself accountable for the abuse and for the changes I need to make, like AA. Not sure if this will work - but I welcome your thoughts and suggestions.