I have no ambition
Have you ever had this sinking feeling na wala kang patutunguhan sa buhay? I have no dreams. I don't have any motivation at all to live. No goals in life for myself. Kaya ang nangyari ginawa kong goal ang pasayahin si mama. The thing is, paano if wala na si mama? Honestly, if I were alone, eating 3 times a day is enough for me to live. I've never been in a relationship before, and I don't think I would like the thought of it due to my parents' messed up couple life. My whole living life ay naka surround kay mama. I'm aware that it's an attachment issue. But what can I do? I don't think I could live long without my mother as an anchor. Buhay pa ako ngayon kasi kailangan ko magtrabaho araw2 para may ipapakain kay mama or di kaya may motivation to live kasi gusto kong pasayahin sya. The thing is, my thoughts is separating my own motivation to live from the motivation for my mother. It's a separate matter. I'm not motivated for myself. I'm motivated for my mother. Ang tanong, did I try treating it as my own? Yes, I tried. But my mind is stubborn. It's too logical for its own good.