u/Intrepid_Ad_475

While spending time on this sub i’ve read everything and it’s opposite :

Some people suggest completely stopping porn and masturbation, to avoid « fake » arousal (it can apparently help with ED, which i get) and all the bad things that porn does to your brain, and that’s a fact, it fucks up your brain chemistry.

And some are saying that it’s not good for PE, because then you get disensitized and when you actually have sex your arousal curve spikes instantly. Apparently it’s even a thing for PE fetishists, who train themselves to develop PE (yes), and a part of this training includes completely stopping porn.

Can we agree on what’s the way to do it ? To me porn is ultimately stopping that should not be a part of anyone’s life, and it can cause ED, but it seems to help some people in the case of training to cure PE, so idk.

What are your thoughts on this ?

Hi, i’m 24 and i’ve suffered from PE since the beginning of my sexual life (17), but i’m dating someone new that i really like atm and it has never been this bad. She was staying at my place this weekend and twice i came while being almost flaccid (she was giving me a handjob). The shame was really hard to bear, especially since i really want to be the best man she’s ever had. She’s been great with me and she didn’t make me feel bad at all for this but man, i did not want her to see me in this position.

It has not always been this bad : i’ve had periods where it’s been better, lasting sometimes for months. I’ve had and i still have (this happened two weeks ago and last night, but i’m gonna come back to this) miracle nights where i last for as long as i want, but i always end up getting back into severe PE and this cycle of anxiety and shame.

Last week i started reading posts on this sub, trying to see if there is a cure. I’ve started doing breathing exercises, reverse kegels and edging, but it’s too soon to see any real life results. Also i find the breathing stuff unrealistic : how the hell am in supposed to do this during sex ? I do not want to have to do this. I want to focus on my partners, i want to talk dirty, to kiss and to have fun, not enter a meditative state and count the length of my inhale/exhales…

What this post is really about : i realised that almost every time i drink enough to be at least a bit drunk, my performances are through the roof. Meaning i have way more control over my pelvic floor, i can just pound again and again and take short breaks sometimes to regain some stamina but that’s about it. Yesterday night, i had 4 cocktails and we had a long and passionate sex session, it felt so good to be able to give her pleasure. Unfortunately she has a lot of trouble with finishing because she’s on sertraline, but still we felt this sense of losing ourselves in each other. And obviously it did wonders for my confidence, especially since she was leaving this morning, and the other sessions have not been great to say the least.

What does this difference between my performances drunk and sober mean ? How can this reveal the cause of my PE ? If anyone has any idea, please leave a comment so we can discuss about it.

Oh and i ordered a bottle of Arlo since apparently that’s what everyone is talking about right now. I want to see if the review posts are scams are not. I’m from France so i had to pay 25€ shipping hahahaha. That’s how desperate i am.
I’ll keep you updated.

Thank you for reading :))