what should i do?
hi i am 28f living abroad and i have 2 siblings ( i am the youngest) that has special needs. They require full time assistance as one has down sydrome while the other one has severe autism (non verbal) they are both in their later 30s already while my mom is 64 years old. My dad died when I was 15 and after that I became the sole provider of the family. I havent stopped working since I was that age. Now, i have a stable job and somewhat above average pay but I am unable to save anything as I am the breadwinner of the family and most of my salary are going to them. I dont even have problem with that since my work provides me housing, food, and other allowance i need to sustain myself here. My main problem is that my mom is getting old and up until now i still dont have solid solution or plan how I can continue once she gets very old and unable to take care of my siblings. my salary isnt enough to put them in a institutions or to provide caregivers as in our country its not really an option. usually those people who can afford this are wealthy people and i would say we are just poor-below middle class. I am depressed already by the burden and sometimes i cant even speak with my mom and continue conversation with her because it will somehow be brought up and tears will just go down. I feel like i cant move forward with my life because of this burden. We dont have any good relatives who can help my mom. Its always been me. and to be honest with you, I am fine with it as long as i have enough resources like money to take care of them, but since we are just poor it makes it extra difficult because I am expected to be the provider for the family, at the same i am expected to take care of them that’s why even though my mom doesnt say it but she subtly telling me to just go back home and find job there so that she has sometime to help her take care of my siblings. apart from that i feel like i am expected as well to be the emotional support for my mom. my mom doesnt have a community, I cant blame her because she doesnt havd enough time to have friends since most of the time she is just at home taking care of them. now the burden becomes deeper. Sometimes i feel like i want to blame my parents for not planning enough. sometimes i feel like i am cursed because of this problem. its like my fate is to suffer this life time. I just dont know what would be my situation in the next few years.. Lord pls help me.