Repairing a relationship where one person has ADHD & PTSD (& possibly BPD)?
When I first met my husband, he was wonderful. He was kind, funny, wanted to try many hobbies and activities with me, and helped around the house equally, contributed to cooking etc. it felt like I had finally found my person and I was so happy.
After 2 years, he started to have some health problems, (they have since resolved) but during that time he became inattentive, developed an alcohol addiction and spent all his time ignoring life/me and spending all his time and money on video games. When I tried to get him to do anything he would throw a tantrum and scream at me. This has gone on gradually worsening for 3 years even with the resolution of the health problems.
I walked out, and it seems to have actually made him acknowledge that he needs to change. He’s stopped drinking (hasn’t drank for 6 weeks), started working out, cooking and cleaning again, etc. He went to the doctors and they diagnosed him with ADHD and PTSD, for which he is receiving talking therapy for the PTSD. They are currently investigating potential BPD and mood stabilisers.
He is acting again like the man I first met, but instead of being happy I am terrified. Why did my words for 3 years not matter until I broke and left? I’m terrified of it being roses again for a while and then descending into hell once again when I become comfortable and let my guard down.