I’m forced to be friends with a coworker.
I (25f) have always kept my personal life separate from work life. I have been had my current job for almost 5 years, and previously had another job for 3 years. Ive always kept a friendly but professional attitude at each job due to quick progression to supervisor or senior positions. i will chat, but the information i give can easily be found on public forums or searches. other than that im a closed book.
I already don’t have many friends. I’ve always had a lot of people like me my while life, but I have never let more than 2 people close to me at a time. I just don’t need a big social group and prefer to be independent and isolated.
The few friends i have now, i have had for about 3-5 years. each are people i didn't hang out with until we stopped working together. I just prefer to talk about our lives - not just the job we have in common. with us all being adults, we normally get together or chat once every 6months to 1yr, and tbh its very freeing and makes me appreciate the friendship more than constant interaction.
I have been in a relationship for 1.5yrs, we live together, and that is my priority. earlier this year, my bf was placed in local jail for a purge bond bc he has a few grand of backpay for child support and recently got a better paying job to pay it. I messaged my 2 coworkers, told them what was up and I wouldn’t be in work that friday payday.
The young girl (21f) on 2nd shift has always been wanting to be close since i met her a yr prior. I and the young boy i work beside on 1st shit explained that I “keep my job and personal life separate.” And this girl has still gone out of her way to win me over.
She came in the next day and put the 2k in my car (its a rural area and i leave it unlocked) and told me to go pay and get him out (he had only been in 6hrs) then left and wouldnt answer my text or calls. So i did. Then my bf took the 2k out of his account and i gave it back the next day.
her first words were “now you have to be my friend” and i told her “ yeah i feel indebted to you“
She is all over hanging out everyday at work, after work, going to dinner, events, concerts, literally everything. I have kindly said “i appreciate the invite, but I have adult responsibilities and cant be paying for trips or constantly be around someone outside of my bf. im incredibly introverted and i dont do close coworker friendships. I also don’t like that you are holding the money i didnt ask for over my head.”
she just laughed and said “well ill pay for everything. And you can go without your bf”
i told her “he doesnt control me. i want to experience life with him. again, i appreciate it, but i cant be blowing money going and doing things i dont want to do. I have real responsibilities that take priority over everything else”
idk what else to do. Incredibly kind of her, but using it against me as a way to force a friendship that i dont want is not okay.