AITAH for not paying my mom?
I (late 20s), live at home with my family: mom (50s), two siblings and my brother's wife (all in early 20s).
My mom and I have a difficult relationship; she's emotionally immature and have manipulative tendencies, and since I'm the eldest, I've had to do most of the emotional and financial growth in the family, only to be treated like the scapegoat. I lived on my own for years and only returned to the family household a few years back because of the current state of our country's economy. I pay my part, always worked (though recently lost my job), yet am a business owner so some income is still coming through, and stay in my room, out of people's way.
A few days ago, our clothes dryer broke down. We live in a hot place so for the longest time, we used the sun to deal with that. Its also custom for each of us to do our own laundry so its not like she has that to think about that. I was upfront about how I cannot put a dryer in my list of current expenses and that I was more than willing to put my clothes out; this is important because I used to be the one to use one of the most amount of clothes and I've always been willing to pay for "little treats" for myself to ensure I optimize my time in terms of some chores; like thr dryer or having someone wash my car.
On the weekend, I notice her car wasn't outside so I just had the hunch that she went to hunt for a new dryer machine, yet she didn't talk to any of us about a budget, timeframe to plan ahead or anything previous to do this. Later that night, I received a text message from my brother's wife informing me of how the total of the dryer was almost $1k and we each needs to pay almost $200 for 5 months to make up for it. No receipt, no options being discussed with any of us, just her slamming her card and expecting us to follow.
I feel this was a really inconsiderate way to go about it because why didn't she sit down with us to establish a budget? why didn't she give us time to prepare for such a thing? why am I expected to pay when I was clear from the beginning that I was even going to stop using the service to save money? Hell, worst case scenario, I'm willing to offer competitive laundromat prices to use it if its an emergency/rainy season.
I'm afraid of how the conversation is gonna go because I just know my response is going to make me seem selfish when it comes to the rest of them having to pick up what I wouldn't pay, but again, I wasn't asked nor considered, even if I expressed clearly that I just can't afford it.
So AITA for not paying my mom for the purchase of the clothes dryer?