I (22F) caught my situationship-ish (21M) hiding things.
For context, we're long distance which makes everything more complicated. We started out dating, then moved to exclusively dating. After a month or two of being exclusive, he implied he wasn't going to ask me to be his girlfriend when he came back to my city for spring break. That's when I decided to stop exclusively dating and suggested we go back to casually dating instead. He agreed. During this time, he always emphasized that he can't date multiple girls at once and that he's a "one girl type of man" - meaning me.
Recently, I found screenshots showing he was on an app telling another girl that he \*was\* looking for a relationship while telling me he wasn't ready. This felt like a huge betrayal given what he'd always told me about being a one-girl guy.
I confronted him about it. His defense was that 'talking to people isn't dating.' He also finally admitted that he *does* want a relationship with me, but he feels like he can't meet my high expectations right now and needs to work on himself first. He claimed he didn't tell me this earlier because he didn't want to make it seem like he was blaming me. He apologized for his lack of transparency but still doesn't believe he technically 'lied.' He also emphasized that he really wants me in his life and doesn't want me to cut him off completely - I have a history of cutting people off when they hurt me, and he knows this about me. Before ending the call, I told him he can date whoever he wants and I accept that now, but I need a break to decide how to move forward. He agreed and left the ball entirely in my court.
We've been on a no-contact break for about 2 weeks now (though he watches my social media stories almost immediately). My plan is to wait a full month, then reach out to establish a strict friendship. We'd just hang out and watch shows over the phone platonically while I focus entirely on my career and myself. I'm genuinely okay if this never turns into a relationship, but I'm leaving the door open for the future if we're both single and he actually does the work. It's not like I completely lost feelings for him - I do miss us hanging out over the phone - but I think the friendship route is better for now.
My question: Is transitioning to 'just friends' just rebranding the situationship, or can this actually work if I hold my boundaries? Am I setting myself up to get hurt again?