u/IrregularArchivist

I plan to add more to the conlang, but I wanted to share what I have so far.

Here is the excerpt

Tw: suicidal thoughts, gore, body horror

https://docs.google.com/document/d/11gLU1n0O6lyerZTEWHeqDw-lW3wWw3o9IfCU2n3Sfc8/edit?usp=drivesdk

I'm looking for critism and feedback about the tone and pacing of the excerpt. I plan on making it part of the first chapter of my story, but I'm hoping to touch it up first.

What do you think works well? What needs improvement? what just isn't working? And overall what do you think of the story excerpt?

Also if you have any advice for an aspiring author, especially one that's writing dark urban fantasy, please let me know.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the story and see you on the other side.