ABYG for cutting off my best friend of 10 years after feeling used and disrespected?
For context, we met in high school and became best friends. About 10 years of friendship. I eventually moved to the U.S. bc of my dad, but despite the distance and time difference, we stayed in contact almost every day. I was always the type of friend who would answer her calls no matter what time it was.
I think 2 years ago, she got a job at a well-known company. I came home to the Philippines to visit with my boyfriend, and during that entire trip, she and her then-boyfriend basically didn't pay for anything. Airbnb, food, gas, even her menstrual pads (she claimed she didn’t have cash / wallet and asked me to get her some), whatever. Everything ended up being covered by me and my boyfriend.
Now, before anyone says anything, yes, I know I should have communicated better. I never directly asked her to split costs. But honestly, I thought she would at least offer. Especially because she had a stable job and was constantly posting things online about how generous she was, buying gifts for people, and making posts like, "You can call me anything but broke."
I let it go.
Then she started an online baking business. I wanted to support her, so I ordered from her and paid both for the order and the delivery fee so she could send it to my grandmother's house.
Two weeks later, she called and said she was too busy and couldn't fulfill the order anymore. I said, "Okay, no worries. Just send the refund to my grandma through GCash." (I don’t have gcash)
She never refunded it.
Not gonna lie, that really bothered me. It wasn't even about the amount. I just don't like people wasting my time or playing with my money. It felt disrespectful coming from someone I've known for a decade.
Eventually, I stopped reaching out and the friendship basically died.
Fast forward to now. I'm back in the Philippines on vacation. She messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up. I figured maybe she wanted to reconnect and actually talk things out, so I told her I couldn't really go out (I honestly didn’t wanna be subjected to pay for her) but she was welcome to come over to my grandmother's house.
She agreed.
Because of that, I had the house cleaned up and asked my family to prepare food because I was expecting a guest.
The entire day passed with no updates from her.
Then at around 10 PM she texted me saying she had just finished at church and couldn't make it anymore, but if I wanted to meet at a cafe the next day she'd be down.
The thing is... at almost the exact same time she sent that message, she posted Instagram stories showing she was already at a cafe.
At that point I just felt stupid.
Part of me thinks I'm overreacting because maybe she's just busy and life happens. Another part of me feels like this has been a pattern for years: not contributing, not refunding money she owed, making plans she doesn't follow through on, and only reaching out when it's convenient for her.
So..Ako ba yung gago if I just go ghost (this time permanently) and end the friendship?